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<i>Previously on Queer as Folk:</i>

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I get to buy anything.

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You're in severe pain!

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You should be resting!

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You did it! Come on, you're almost there!

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Bicycling down life's endless highways...

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I had time to think about what I'd do differently.

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Perhaps it's best for both of us...

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if we aren't together.

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Do you believe we're really married?

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Are we? Even if it was real for just a day...

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... was it worth it.

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The government of the United States doesn't recognize gays getting married.

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You're a dad... have you picked on a name?

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Contingent on the approval of all three parties...

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Jenny Rebecca.

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We have the green light. That's awesome!

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It's going to be tough going back to Pittsburgh after this...

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So why go? Stay here, work at the movies.

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You're really going.

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It's what we both agreed to.

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For the times that you're not around, I wouldn't particuraly mind it if you were.

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I want you to move back in.

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In a world of shadow, where the undead stalk the night...

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Rage and Zephyr struggle to escape the land of the clones.

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Do you know what amazes me?

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What, dear?

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Outside a child is born, a man dies, a couple gets marries...

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The ever changing kaleidoscope of life.

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In here... nothing changes.

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Everything's the same. Same hot guys, same thumpa-thumpa...

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same shaved chest...

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And what a comfort it is to know.

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But it's all a lie, an illusion, just...

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...cheap theatrics.

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Nevertheless... let's keep dancing.

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I promised Ben I'd be home by midnight.

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Aah, pathetic!

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Well be sure and thank your husband for me for

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allowing you to come out and play with your poor lonely friend.

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I noticed you left out "old".

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Well you'd be a lot less lonely when you're reunited with your beloved.

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Hey, you'd better not say anything!

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When have I ever...

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Fine. Nevermind.

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I give you my word.

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Swear to it. On the memory of Marylin Monroe.

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I swear on the memory of Marylin Monroe that I will not tell Justin

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that you're flying to L.A this weekend to surprise him, and that you love him,

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and you miss him more than words can express.

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Who said anything about that?

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Look, you don't fool me, Mr. I am a rock, I am an island.

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I know how hard it's been for you.

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You have no idea, Mikey.

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How odd.

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Hey, Todd!

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How's it going?

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Fine...

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Hey dickhead! Turn off your fucking cell phone!

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What's up?

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Just lying here, eating a bag of Dorritos, reading the Brothers Karamazov.

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What about you?

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Anna Karinina, and Pringles.

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I always said it was our love of Russian literature and snacks high in saturated fat

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that brought us together.

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So how's work?

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Up to my ass in storyboards.

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But Brett is thrilled. He says he never could have envisioned the project without me.

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He's even talking about a sequel.

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My superhero.

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The only trouble is, pre-production is slower than we expected.

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So I might have to stay longer than I thought.

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How much longer?

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Another three months, maybe four.

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The studio is screaming but Brett says not to worry, that happens all the time.

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You're not pissed, are you?

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Why the fuck would I be pissed?

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I told you before you went out there, the only reason I'd be pissed is if you didn't go.

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So when are you coming out here?

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You'd fucking love it.

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You never know when I just might drop in.

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Well, you'd better hurry...

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...the way things are going, I'll be doing "Son of Rage".

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I miss you.

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Hey you take care of yourself, you hear?

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Do the best work you can, and have the best time you can.

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It's all that matters.

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She has your big button eyes...

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and your dimples...

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and your adorable nose!

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Well, she's got one thing of Mel's that I don't have.

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Oh, she's so young, it's hard to tell who she looks like.

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At this point, she's just a sleep, eat and poop machine.

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Oh yeah, but she is our little sleep, eat and poop machine.

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Sweet dreams, honeybun.

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Honeybun?

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It's just what my mother used to call me.

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Which reminds me, she said to tell you she's coming by tomorrow to see the baby.

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Would you have her call first?

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She's not pestering you, is she? If she is, just tell me. I hate when she pesters.

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Are you sure you guys don't need any groceries? Got diapers, what about talcum powder...

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We've got everything under control.

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Of course they do, after all these years they're like a fine tuned machine.

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I can't wait to be an old married couple.

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Don't rush it, it's nice to be newlyweds too.

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How many years has it been? - Two hundred.

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Ten. This week, actually.

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Ten's a biggie, are you planning on anything special?

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We're taking a pass this year.

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Too tired, too busy.

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Just remember, if there's anything you need...

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When your tits start lactating, call me.

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Bye! Bye...!

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You're good.

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So are you.

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Practice makes perfect.

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We're gonna have to tell them eventually.

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They'll have to know I'm not living here.

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Of course they need to know...

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and they will.

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Eventually.

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I just wanna grab some pantyhose and my lasagna pan.

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I don't think I can help you with the pantyhose, but...

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don't they have enough pans at my house?

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What, that old collection of TV dinner tins?

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Speaking of collection, I gotta remember bringing my glass crowns.

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Wait...

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You just brought over all those owls with all those...

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eyes.

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With all that stuff you've been hauling over, we might as well be living here.

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Carl...

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What?

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Shit. I don't know how to say this...

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You? Not know how to say something?

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It's about your place.

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What's the matter with my place?

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Nothing! No, nothing's the matter with your place.

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It's just...

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It's not this place.

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We've had endless discussions about where we were gonna live,

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you said you didn't want to be here.

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Too many sad memories.

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It's true, and at the time all that I could think about was losing Vic.

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But since I've been gone...

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all the happy memories are starting to come back, and they've even beaten up the sad ones.

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I've lived in this house almost thirty years.

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That's practically all of Michael's life...

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There were days where we could barely muster up the mortgage, and...

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and days where we parties all night long, that didn't even cound birthdays and holidays.

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This house is a part of me.

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And I've never been away from it until now.

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There's nothing, nothing wrong with your place, sweetheart, I love being there with you.

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But I want to come home.

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Honey...

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It's like I said from the start.

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It's up to you.

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Wherever you are is home to me.

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Really?

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Thank you!

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Thank you.

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Oh yeah!

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Fuck me like you mean it, come on!

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Welcome home.

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You know, every time you see a stuffed animal, you don't have to buy it.

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I can't help it, I want my girl to have everything.

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Ex-cuse us...

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What are they giving me a look for? This isn't a fucking back room!

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The party has been going on since last night.

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Michael!

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I'm just curious.

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Packed to the rafters, one of them looks just like...

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Hey dudes, you're home.

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Why aren't you?

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Jason and Troy asked me if we had the new Christina Aguilera CD. So I loaned them ours.

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That'll be the last we see of that, thank you very much!

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You don't belong over there with guys who've been partying all night!

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I was just trying to be neighbourly...

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And maybe cop a little weed.

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You should be studying for your midterm! - Crack those books, pal.

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Give me the ice cream, I'll put it in the freezer.

181
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They seem kind of cranky to you?

182
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Who?

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Mel and Linds.

184
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No more than usual.

185
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I mean, yeah, they both are probably exhausted.

186
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They must be, not to want to celebrate your tenth anniversary.

187
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With breastfeeding and changing diapers, I'm sure planning a celebration is the last thought on their minds.

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Maybe we should think of it for them.

189
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I hope on our tenth anniversary we're not too tired to celebrate.

190
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I seriously doubt that would ever happen.

191
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Hey!

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I thought when you got married you'd fuck less.

193
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Counting down the hours, Bri?

194
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I'd be too, you lucky bastard.

195
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Zooming off to Los Angeles for a little sunshine...

196
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Well, before you fly away,

197
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we need to go over some figures.

198
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How many bear claws you've consumed this morning?

199
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I'm writing down a number.

200
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Oh, I get it, I'm supposed to guess what it is?

201
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Then what, we'd become the new Siegfried and Roy?

202
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That's how much Kinnetic made last quarter.

203
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It's not too shabby.

204
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Not too shabby?! For being in business a year, it's over the fucking moon!

205
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So what do you plan to do with it?

206
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It all yours.

207
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I meant the profits.

208
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Of course, you could always pump it back into the business but...

209
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I caution you against expanding too quickly.

210
00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:10,790
I might say the same thing to you.

211
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As far as stocks and bonds...

212
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to get a good rate you'd have to go out to the middle of the 24th century.

213
00:14:16,550 --> 00:14:18,550
So what do you suggest?

214
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The best investment there is...

215
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Yourself!

216
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Spend it on you! You've worked like a sonofabitch, you went through hell and back with your...

217
00:14:29,240 --> 00:14:31,550
But, thank god, you're okay, so...

218
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treat yourself to something special! Go buy a new toy!

219
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I've got dildoes up the ass.

220
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I mean that little extravagance you thought you could never afford.

221
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Like...

222
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a shiny red Ferrari...

223
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or perhaps a Warhol to hang in the loft.

224
00:14:47,500 --> 00:14:49,980
Or... how about something for Justin?

225
00:14:49,980 --> 00:14:55,750
Like his own personal Lear jet so he can wing back and forth from the coast to visit you.

226
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I'm sure you'll come up with something you feel like yourself with.

227
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He's so cute!

228
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I'm Devon's biological father.

229
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And Monty's is own Dean's bio-dad.

230
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Same mom however, it's important to us that they'd be related.

231
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Finally got the kids down, I had to sing "Under the Sea" six times.

232
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You do perform it brilliantly.

233
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Your kids are so adorable.

234
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Thanks...

235
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Ilay tells me you've just had one of your own.

236
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Jenny Rebecca, um, but we call her J.R.

237
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I love that!

238
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But we're not parenting like you.

239
00:15:34,210 --> 00:15:37,450
Melanie and Lindsey are our lesbian friends and the primary parents.

240
00:15:37,450 --> 00:15:42,080
Well, if you ever do decide to raise one of your own, this is the perfect neighbourhood to do it.

241
00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:43,660
We have a huge back yard.

242
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Jimboree down the block.

243
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And they're even putting in a Baby Gap.

244
00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:51,590
It's funny, when I was a kid we weren't even allowed to come over here, it's too dangerous.

245
00:15:51,590 --> 00:15:55,530
Now the only danger is if they run out of Wasabi peas at Whole Foods.

246
00:15:56,660 --> 00:15:59,040
Leave it to the queers to turn grass into gold.

247
00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:00,660
That's no fairy tale!

248
00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:05,800
Ever since the gays moved in, started fixing things up, real estate prices have soared.

249
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:07,840
You guys ever think about moving?

250
00:16:21,450 --> 00:16:23,740
Like a different world, isn't it?

251
00:16:23,740 --> 00:16:26,070
Between here and where Ilay and Monty live.

252
00:16:26,070 --> 00:16:28,130
You wanna stop in for a drink?

253
00:16:28,130 --> 00:16:30,130
I got a lecture to prepare.

254
00:16:31,340 --> 00:16:33,020
So...

255
00:16:33,020 --> 00:16:34,520
how did you like their house?

256
00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:36,320
They did a great job.

257
00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:38,460
It's amazing how much that neighbourhood has changed.

258
00:16:38,460 --> 00:16:39,980
I wish this one would.

259
00:16:39,980 --> 00:16:41,420
It's a used condom or two.

260
00:16:41,420 --> 00:16:45,000
Besides the apartment is too small for the three of us, and that building is like a gay dorm.

261
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:45,980
It's not that bad!

262
00:16:45,980 --> 00:16:50,250
Not if you're 24 and want to fuck everything that moves... or Brian.

263
00:16:50,250 --> 00:16:51,870
We're past all that, aren't we?

264
00:16:51,870 --> 00:16:53,580
Sure...

265
00:16:53,580 --> 00:16:54,710
So...

266
00:16:55,190 --> 00:16:57,040
What do you think about getting a place of our own?

267
00:16:57,040 --> 00:16:58,470
I don't really want to move.

268
00:16:58,470 --> 00:17:01,150
Why, I bet between the two of us we can afford it.

269
00:17:01,870 --> 00:17:05,110
Maybe so, but this is where we live, where I've lived my whole life...

270
00:17:05,110 --> 00:17:08,090
I don't know if I want to pick up and leave, just like that.

271
00:17:09,500 --> 00:17:10,900
Just a thought.

272
00:17:12,500 --> 00:17:17,580
Charming spacious apartment to share, own bedroom, private bath, no pets...

273
00:17:17,580 --> 00:17:20,340
bottoms only need apply.

274
00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:21,310
Perfect.

275
00:17:21,860 --> 00:17:23,860
So who asked you to leave, Debra or Horbath?

276
00:17:23,860 --> 00:17:26,130
Neither. They didn't have to.

277
00:17:26,130 --> 00:17:29,310
The look on their faces must've been priceless when they found you entertaining.

278
00:17:29,310 --> 00:17:32,080
Deb wanted to watch and have a Q&A afterwards.

279
00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:34,130
No doubt! What about Horbath?

280
00:17:34,130 --> 00:17:35,860
Ever see the blob?

281
00:17:35,860 --> 00:17:39,870
Remember the look on the old farmer's face just before it devoured him?

282
00:17:41,740 --> 00:17:46,100
So I've decided to save everyone the discomfort of going through another embarrassing scene,

283
00:17:46,100 --> 00:17:48,410
kindly fold my tent, and...

284
00:17:50,930 --> 00:17:54,590
Teddy? How many of those power bars have you had?

285
00:17:54,590 --> 00:17:55,840
Who's counting?

286
00:17:55,840 --> 00:17:57,840
I am. And that's your fourth.

287
00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:02,220
Do you know the number of carbs in those things, not to mention the calories?

288
00:18:02,220 --> 00:18:03,440
So I'll burn them off.

289
00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:06,580
Honey, you'd have to go up in flames.

290
00:18:07,750 --> 00:18:09,760
Look, I know you don't wanna hear this,

291
00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:13,960
so please, please promise me you won't take it the wrong way...

292
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:18,290
but as your friend I feel it's my obligation to tell you. You're getting a little...

293
00:18:18,670 --> 00:18:20,000
A little what?

294
00:18:20,770 --> 00:18:23,140
A little... hardy.

295
00:18:23,750 --> 00:18:26,530
I mean... robust.

296
00:18:26,530 --> 00:18:28,530
I mean... - Fat.

297
00:18:29,110 --> 00:18:31,760
Fat? I've become fat?

298
00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:35,430
Well let's put it this way. If you start singing, it's all over.

299
00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:38,230
I'll have you know, I'm not fat. I'm just...

300
00:18:38,230 --> 00:18:40,230
I'm bulking up.

301
00:18:40,230 --> 00:18:45,720
I was a shadow of my former self when I was on crystal, and I shed quite a few pounds during the Liberty Ride.

302
00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:48,300
And I happen to think I look pretty damn good.

303
00:18:53,660 --> 00:18:56,880
And obviously, so does he.

304
00:19:02,030 --> 00:19:05,250
Who knew you could catch twinkies by stuffing them in your mouth?

305
00:19:07,650 --> 00:19:10,980
Alright! I'm off to find new digs. Taa!

306
00:19:12,710 --> 00:19:13,830
Hey...

307
00:19:13,830 --> 00:19:16,610
Shall we take a peek in the steam room and see what's lurking in the mist?

308
00:19:16,610 --> 00:19:21,350
Can't. Brett's calling from L.A., he wants my input on a couple of story points for the screenplay.

309
00:19:21,690 --> 00:19:24,490
You know, stuff Rage might say.

310
00:19:24,940 --> 00:19:28,640
Zowie, Zephyr! Check out that... super cock?

311
00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:32,020
Something like that.

312
00:19:32,020 --> 00:19:34,550
Besides I thought you had a plane to catch.

313
00:19:34,550 --> 00:19:36,720
Justin's going to be so excited when you show up.

314
00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:39,090
I'm not going. The trip's cancelled.

315
00:19:39,090 --> 00:19:41,960
But I thought you had all these plans to surprise him.

316
00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:45,270
Guess the surprise is... there's not going to be one.

317
00:19:48,210 --> 00:19:53,340
Reverend Swineheart, Rage's nemesis and sworn enemy of queers everythere,

318
00:19:53,340 --> 00:19:56,190
preaches his message of hate from his pulpit,

319
00:19:56,190 --> 00:19:58,400
while deep in the catacombs of the church,

320
00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:01,340
Rage hangs suspended above the flames.

321
00:20:01,340 --> 00:20:05,200
his hands bound in really hot leather restraints.

322
00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:09,590
Meanwhile, J.T. races to the rescue...

323
00:20:12,780 --> 00:20:16,970
Mr. Keller says they need the storyboard for the catacomb sequence now, now, now.

324
00:20:16,970 --> 00:20:21,100
Tell him I'm hurrying as fast as I can, can can.

325
00:20:22,490 --> 00:20:24,550
Pray my hand holds out.

326
00:20:27,940 --> 00:20:29,830
You look all out of breath.

327
00:20:30,370 --> 00:20:34,120
I'm just trying to finish these storyboards for a certain demanding tyrant.

328
00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:36,700
Forget it, I've got incredible news.

329
00:20:36,700 --> 00:20:41,940
And other than a legion of studio executives, agents, publicists, managers and both trade papers,

330
00:20:41,940 --> 00:20:44,520
you are the very first to hear it.

331
00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:46,590
We just signed someone to play rage.

332
00:20:46,590 --> 00:20:48,190
Who? Who?!

333
00:20:48,190 --> 00:20:52,360
This is the movies! Instead of telling you, I'll show you.

334
00:20:53,990 --> 00:20:55,100
Conner.

335
00:20:55,100 --> 00:20:56,500
Hey, man.

336
00:20:56,500 --> 00:21:01,750
Where have you been? He's just back from doing a Kabuki version of "Much Ado" off, off, off,

337
00:21:01,750 --> 00:21:03,160
off Broadway.

338
00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:07,180
What a change from working with those Hollywood hacks, I was fired for nothing more than mediocrety.

339
00:21:07,180 --> 00:21:10,580
Still you don't have any problem picking up that paycheck, do you.

340
00:21:10,580 --> 00:21:12,850
Get ready to do some serious acting...

341
00:21:12,850 --> 00:21:14,850
We start flying lessons on Monday.

342
00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:17,060
I thought you turned down the part.

343
00:21:17,060 --> 00:21:19,970
The director convinced me it'd be good for my career.

344
00:21:19,970 --> 00:21:23,860
Show everyone I'm a straight guy who has no problems playing gay for pay.

345
00:21:26,850 --> 00:21:31,420
Right! Stuffed eggplant, Caprisi salad, hummus, and...

346
00:21:31,420 --> 00:21:36,040
the piece the resistance, fried chicken, which is not really fried but baked to taste like fried,

347
00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:37,290
so nobody feels guilty.

348
00:21:37,290 --> 00:21:41,220
Mel and Linds are going to go out of their minds when we show up. I can't thank you enough for all of this, Em.

349
00:21:41,220 --> 00:21:42,790
My pleasure, sweetie.

350
00:21:44,380 --> 00:21:45,420
What's this?

351
00:21:46,180 --> 00:21:49,430
Casserole I made to take along. Millet, leeks and soy cheese.

352
00:21:49,430 --> 00:21:51,630
Are you sure you're not a lesbian?

353
00:21:53,450 --> 00:21:56,190
Kitchen's so tiny you can barely turn around.

354
00:21:56,190 --> 00:21:58,010
Care to dance?

355
00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:02,740
Which isn't too much of a stretch, considering baby Babylon blasting across the hallway.

356
00:22:02,740 --> 00:22:04,740
Tell me about it.

357
00:22:06,210 --> 00:22:08,860
Why are his firm, manly tits in a twist?

358
00:22:08,860 --> 00:22:13,200
He thinks the building's turning into a den of inequity. Sex, drugs, cruising...

359
00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:16,400
Okay, so, those are the advantages. What are the liabilities?

360
00:22:16,790 --> 00:22:18,970
That basically we've outgrown this place.

361
00:22:18,970 --> 00:22:22,280
Let's face it honey, you're a Sadie Sadie Married Lady,

362
00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:25,120
with a hubby and piglets to prove it.

363
00:22:25,120 --> 00:22:27,730
I, on the other hand, remain wantonly single.

364
00:22:27,730 --> 00:22:29,730
So if you're moving out, maybe I should move back in.

365
00:22:29,730 --> 00:22:31,370
We're not moving.

366
00:22:35,060 --> 00:22:38,700
Would you look at this? It's like homo central.

367
00:22:39,550 --> 00:22:42,820
Down! They're just young and having fun, we were once that age, remember?

368
00:22:42,820 --> 00:22:45,130
That's exactly the point, we're not that age anymore.

369
00:22:45,130 --> 00:22:48,720
It's time to move to a house on a street like Ilay and Monty.

370
00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:51,400
Buying a house isn't like buying a CD or a sweater!

371
00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:56,770
Even if we did decide to do it, first we'd have to review our finances, check out the numbers, right Em?

372
00:22:56,770 --> 00:23:00,340
Oh, I'd say checking out the numbers is essential.

373
00:23:02,870 --> 00:23:07,750
Trying to dispose of a large sum of expendible income is more exhausting than one might think.

374
00:23:07,750 --> 00:23:12,560
Who ever said the world is fair? Next time you'll think twice before becoming a success.

375
00:23:13,610 --> 00:23:16,260
You're not doing so bad yourself.

376
00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:21,420
Ben wants us to buy a house in that new area where all the gay couples are moving.

377
00:23:21,420 --> 00:23:24,020
Oh, and become Stepford fags?

378
00:23:24,020 --> 00:23:27,160
Maybe you should get a new place. House in the country?

379
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:28,980
I hate the fucking country.

380
00:23:28,980 --> 00:23:30,410
A yacht?

381
00:23:30,410 --> 00:23:33,700
Right. Pittsburgh: the new St. Tropez.

382
00:23:33,700 --> 00:23:35,300
Ride on the space shuttle?

383
00:23:35,300 --> 00:23:37,990
I'm a tad shy of twenty mil.

384
00:23:38,610 --> 00:23:42,310
How about a bottle of wine for Mel and Linds's anniversary bash?

385
00:23:42,630 --> 00:23:44,860
Who says I'll be there?

386
00:23:44,860 --> 00:23:46,950
I figured since you cancelled your trip...

387
00:23:46,950 --> 00:23:51,010
It doesn't mean I'm going to be raising a glass to their marathon muff-a-thon.

388
00:23:54,850 --> 00:23:55,930
That...

389
00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:59,050
is a distinct possibility.

390
00:24:00,090 --> 00:24:03,540
Do you imagine eating pussy, the same pussy,

391
00:24:03,540 --> 00:24:05,290
for ten years?

392
00:24:05,290 --> 00:24:08,620
No, but I don't suppose they get fed of sucking the same cock.

393
00:24:09,410 --> 00:24:11,060
That makes three of us.

394
00:24:11,060 --> 00:24:13,060
Unless it's Justin's.

395
00:24:16,220 --> 00:24:18,290
It's a shame you couldn't go to L.A.

396
00:24:18,290 --> 00:24:19,950
I'm busy. And he's busy.

397
00:24:19,950 --> 00:24:21,960
We're all busy.

398
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:24,960
I just hope he gets back soon so we could finish the next issue of Rage.

399
00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:26,780
He's not coming back.

400
00:24:27,860 --> 00:24:29,540
What do you mean, he's not coming back?

401
00:24:29,540 --> 00:24:31,560
Did he tell you that? He didn't have to.

402
00:24:32,220 --> 00:24:34,770
When I spoke to him all he said was that he was going to have to be there longer than he...

403
00:24:34,770 --> 00:24:36,770
Listen, Mikey...

404
00:24:36,770 --> 00:24:37,460
are you listening?

405
00:24:37,460 --> 00:24:39,060
Yes! Christ sake, I'm listening.

406
00:24:39,060 --> 00:24:43,200
Just figure it out for yourself! I mean, first it's three months. Then it's six months.

407
00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:45,610
One project turns to another, and another.

408
00:24:45,610 --> 00:24:47,290
Before you know it...

409
00:24:47,290 --> 00:24:50,060
He's there a year. Five years.

410
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:57,090
It's the way it goes.

411
00:25:01,940 --> 00:25:03,630
I don't blame him.

412
00:25:03,630 --> 00:25:06,610
He's having the time of his life, he's working the movies.

413
00:25:06,610 --> 00:25:09,510
He's fucking movie stars.

414
00:25:18,150 --> 00:25:20,500
That doesn't mean he's never coming home.

415
00:25:20,500 --> 00:25:23,210
Who the hell would come back to Pittsburgh after L.A.?

416
00:25:23,210 --> 00:25:26,170
I mean if that was me, I'd never come back.

417
00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:31,610
He's not you.

418
00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:40,480
It's time he got on with his life. It's time I got on with mine.

419
00:25:46,470 --> 00:25:51,040
I can't believe how someone so little could have so much poop in them.

420
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:54,080
You might just grow up to be a lawyer.

421
00:26:01,530 --> 00:26:02,700
Hey Mel...

422
00:26:02,700 --> 00:26:04,360
Hey, Michael...

423
00:26:04,360 --> 00:26:05,520
Who chipped you?

424
00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:09,670
Changing you-know-who's you-know-what, for the billionth time today.

425
00:26:09,670 --> 00:26:12,070
Is that's how you're going to spend your tenth anniversary?

426
00:26:12,070 --> 00:26:13,570
You've got a better idea?

427
00:26:13,570 --> 00:26:15,070
As a matter of fact...

428
00:26:15,070 --> 00:26:18,110
Surprise!

429
00:26:19,300 --> 00:26:20,430
Surprise!

430
00:26:20,430 --> 00:26:23,390
How's my grand daughter...

431
00:26:23,390 --> 00:26:25,580
I haven't seen you for ever!

432
00:26:25,580 --> 00:26:27,580
Not since this morning.

433
00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:33,150
Wipe the dyke in the headlights look off your face, you're having a surprise party courtesy of auntie Em's special occasions.

434
00:26:33,150 --> 00:26:35,850
And you don't have to lift a finger, everything has been taken care of.

435
00:26:37,300 --> 00:26:39,350
Food in the dining room, please!

436
00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:41,870
Where's Linds?

437
00:26:43,300 --> 00:26:46,660
She went to the grocery store. With Gus.

438
00:26:47,730 --> 00:26:49,310
We want to surprise her too.

439
00:26:49,310 --> 00:26:50,830
She'll be surprised.

440
00:26:50,830 --> 00:26:52,970
Would you excuse me for a second?

441
00:27:04,340 --> 00:27:05,240
Hello?

442
00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:06,800
Hi, it's me.

443
00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:07,550
Is something wrong?

444
00:27:07,550 --> 00:27:09,250
Yeah, fucking right something's wrong.

445
00:27:10,550 --> 00:27:13,670
No, it's not with the baby, it's just... get your ass over here, quick.

446
00:27:13,670 --> 00:27:14,360
Why?

447
00:27:14,360 --> 00:27:16,880
They're giving us a fucking surprise party.

448
00:27:18,030 --> 00:27:20,420
Well, Emmett's done it again.

449
00:27:21,020 --> 00:27:22,520
This food is great.

450
00:27:23,180 --> 00:27:25,230
She must really be stocking up.

451
00:27:26,730 --> 00:27:29,120
You know, double coupons.

452
00:27:37,070 --> 00:27:39,000
Is Teddy getting tubby?

453
00:27:40,250 --> 00:27:43,740
Considering me a Darwinist with his new bow, I'd say fat is the new thin.

454
00:27:43,740 --> 00:27:47,370
So where have you been keeping yourself? I barely see you since I moved back.

455
00:27:47,370 --> 00:27:50,180
Um, actually, I've been out looking for a place.

456
00:27:50,180 --> 00:27:51,780
A place? For what?

457
00:27:52,260 --> 00:27:53,800
To live.

458
00:27:55,230 --> 00:27:57,260
Why the hell would you do that?

459
00:27:58,630 --> 00:28:02,560
It's not cause we walked in on you fucking some guy... is it?

460
00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:03,640
Well...

461
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:06,720
That was just a case of bad timing, that's all. I mean,

462
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:09,350
it's kind of funny actually, when you think about it.

463
00:28:09,350 --> 00:28:12,320
I'm not sure that Carl found it to be that laugh riot that you did.

464
00:28:13,030 --> 00:28:15,330
Don't worry about Carl, he'll get used to it.

465
00:28:15,330 --> 00:28:16,720
He shouldn't have to.

466
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:20,450
The house should be the two of yours, Deb. Not the three of ours.

467
00:28:22,010 --> 00:28:27,380
But, he'll never be Blanche when I'm playing Baby Jane, he doesn't have the shoulders or the eyebrows.

468
00:28:27,380 --> 00:28:32,570
Come on, do you think he's going to take me to sing along Wizard of Oz, or get dishy with me during the award shows, or...

469
00:28:32,570 --> 00:28:36,020
pull my face back and tell me how much work I need?

470
00:28:36,020 --> 00:28:38,020
And other words?

471
00:28:41,260 --> 00:28:43,310
You're irreplaceable.

472
00:28:46,100 --> 00:28:48,390
We both have to face it, Deb.

473
00:28:49,050 --> 00:28:52,390
Life with your detective does not include me.

474
00:28:58,970 --> 00:29:00,550
What the hell took you so long?

475
00:29:00,550 --> 00:29:02,640
I had to wake up Gus and get him dressed.

476
00:29:03,540 --> 00:29:04,520
Here she is.

477
00:29:04,980 --> 00:29:07,130
Surprise!

478
00:29:09,220 --> 00:29:12,450
Isn't that great? Our friends are throwing us a surprise party for our anniversary.

479
00:29:12,450 --> 00:29:13,850
Where are the groceries?

480
00:29:13,850 --> 00:29:15,120
The groceries?

481
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:17,120
Ooh, they're being delivered, tomorrow.

482
00:29:17,730 --> 00:29:20,060
Does everyone have champagne?

483
00:29:20,060 --> 00:29:21,720
You can't toast without a glass.

484
00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:26,540
We know how exhausted you two are, but we couldn't let this landmark go by without a little celebration.

485
00:29:26,540 --> 00:29:28,330
Ten years is quite an achievement.

486
00:29:28,330 --> 00:29:29,140
I'll say!

487
00:29:29,140 --> 00:29:34,020
Now more than ever it's important people know that a gay couple can be just as committed as any straight couple.

488
00:29:34,210 --> 00:29:35,590
To Mel and Linds.

489
00:29:35,590 --> 00:29:39,180
To Mel and Linds! - Speech from the old married couple, come on.

490
00:29:39,970 --> 00:29:41,520
There is something we'd like to say.

491
00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:43,520
No, there isn't.

492
00:29:44,250 --> 00:29:45,820
Now is not the right time.

493
00:29:45,820 --> 00:29:47,530
When is the right time?

494
00:29:48,980 --> 00:29:50,570
The right time for what?

495
00:29:53,260 --> 00:29:55,640
I think you all should know... how much we appreciate this.

496
00:29:55,640 --> 00:29:57,350
Would you stop?

497
00:29:59,540 --> 00:30:02,030
We can't hide it anymore, it isn't fair.

498
00:30:07,010 --> 00:30:09,480
Thank you for all your good wishes.

499
00:30:10,470 --> 00:30:12,700
But you see, Melanie and I are having some problems.

500
00:30:12,700 --> 00:30:15,450
I wasn't having any problems, I was trying to have a baby.

501
00:30:15,450 --> 00:30:17,850
Alright, I'm the one responsible for all the problems.

502
00:30:17,850 --> 00:30:18,880
Damn right you are!

503
00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:21,410
For which I have apologized endlessly!

504
00:30:21,410 --> 00:30:22,750
You still refuse to accept the fact...

505
00:30:22,750 --> 00:30:25,630
That fucking Sam Aurbach had nothing to do with sex?

506
00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:29,990
It was all about art, all the humping was all about form and function?

507
00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:41,020
The truth is, we haven't been living together since our daughter was born.

508
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:17,270
Who turned on the lights?

509
00:31:17,270 --> 00:31:18,320
What the fuck's going on?!

510
00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:19,510
Turn them off!

511
00:31:19,510 --> 00:31:20,880
Turn the fucking lights back off!

512
00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:22,300
Jesus Christ!

513
00:31:22,300 --> 00:31:23,360
Gentlemen!

514
00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:25,380
May I have your attention!

515
00:31:25,380 --> 00:31:27,590
This club is officially closed.

516
00:31:27,590 --> 00:31:30,240
Pull up your pants and go home.

517
00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:32,840
Come on! Let's go, everybody.

518
00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:33,930
The party's over.

519
00:31:33,930 --> 00:31:35,510
That includes you!

520
00:31:35,510 --> 00:31:37,160
Just wait a sec...

521
00:31:51,250 --> 00:31:52,850
Thanks, officer...

522
00:31:52,850 --> 00:31:54,750
I'd do the same for you one say.

523
00:32:02,970 --> 00:32:06,050
I come here every day to be with the baby.

524
00:32:06,050 --> 00:32:08,370
So I can be with Gus.

525
00:32:08,370 --> 00:32:10,840
Then Gus and I go back to the apartment.

526
00:32:11,520 --> 00:32:12,930
You have an apartment?

527
00:32:12,930 --> 00:32:14,550
A small one bedroom I've been renting.

528
00:32:14,550 --> 00:32:16,610
We've... been renting.

529
00:32:16,610 --> 00:32:18,610
Although we can barely afford this place.

530
00:32:18,610 --> 00:32:21,680
Well, Gus and I have to live somewhere, or would you rather we sleep on the street?

531
00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:22,730
Did I say that?

532
00:32:22,730 --> 00:32:25,110
We're just a little thrown back, I've gotta admit.

533
00:32:25,560 --> 00:32:26,900
It's a shock.

534
00:32:26,900 --> 00:32:28,530
I wanted it all out in the open.

535
00:32:28,530 --> 00:32:30,280
Well, I didn't.

536
00:32:30,810 --> 00:32:32,510
I'm the one who had the baby.

537
00:32:32,930 --> 00:32:35,510
I'd enough to deal with without having to explain to everyone.

538
00:32:35,510 --> 00:32:39,100
Look, you've been having personal problems, we understand.

539
00:32:39,100 --> 00:32:41,500
No, we do not understand!

540
00:32:41,500 --> 00:32:43,820
How could you not say a word all this time?

541
00:32:44,560 --> 00:32:49,410
So when were you going to tell me, after she grew up and went to college, and got married and had children of her own?

542
00:32:49,750 --> 00:32:53,330
I have seen you practically every day since Jenny was born, and it's...

543
00:32:53,330 --> 00:32:56,950
You've always been so sweet, so adorable, two doting mothers, well,

544
00:32:56,950 --> 00:32:59,830
who would've guessed it was a big fucking lie!

545
00:33:01,700 --> 00:33:04,140
We made a wrong decision by not telling you.

546
00:33:05,060 --> 00:33:07,310
For which we are truely sorry.

547
00:33:08,310 --> 00:33:10,750
But we've been under a lot of stress...

548
00:33:10,750 --> 00:33:12,150
Ain't that the truth.

549
00:33:12,150 --> 00:33:15,440
You have no idea how deceit can raise your blood pressure.

550
00:33:18,950 --> 00:33:21,580
When I agreed to be the baby's father it was because I knew

551
00:33:21,580 --> 00:33:23,490
she would be raised in a loving home.

552
00:33:23,490 --> 00:33:28,810
With two loving parents, not in some sort of a time sharing arrangement with complimentary sniping!

553
00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:35,560
Now you can make all the excuses you want, but if this is how you're planning on raising our daughter, we should never have had her in the first place!

554
00:33:53,780 --> 00:33:55,960
God, I love this part.

555
00:33:57,610 --> 00:34:01,530
Frankly, I've never been to keen about the grope-the-old-man movies.

556
00:34:01,530 --> 00:34:03,530
I love the classics.

557
00:34:08,550 --> 00:34:09,380
Here, have another.

558
00:34:09,380 --> 00:34:11,380
No, no, no, I couldn't.

559
00:34:11,380 --> 00:34:11,740
Come on!

560
00:34:11,740 --> 00:34:13,740
No, six is my upper limit.

561
00:34:13,740 --> 00:34:14,610
Come on!

562
00:34:14,610 --> 00:34:16,060
No!

563
00:34:23,660 --> 00:34:25,140
At this rate,

564
00:34:25,140 --> 00:34:30,440
I'm going to turn into that guy I saw on TV. He was so fat they had to remove a wall to get him out of the house.

565
00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:32,440
Fine by me.

566
00:34:34,940 --> 00:34:38,150
There is something about the scent of an old guy...

567
00:34:42,300 --> 00:34:44,860
...makes me so hot.

568
00:34:46,240 --> 00:34:48,760
Lovely grey flecks,

569
00:34:48,760 --> 00:34:50,760
turning into white...

570
00:34:51,980 --> 00:34:57,520
The baby bottom pink scalp, peeking through the little hairs on the top.

571
00:34:58,410 --> 00:35:01,110
Like wild grass on the beach.

572
00:35:03,320 --> 00:35:06,180
And to grab on to those love handles...

573
00:35:06,510 --> 00:35:10,390
...while I'm shooting all over that big, full belly...

574
00:35:16,300 --> 00:35:18,110
Come on, lover...

575
00:35:19,770 --> 00:35:21,460
Eat.

576
00:35:36,550 --> 00:35:39,340
Sean, honey, I told you to stay in my room.

577
00:35:39,340 --> 00:35:41,470
I'm not Sean, honey.

578
00:35:41,470 --> 00:35:44,220
Oops... clearly.

579
00:35:45,580 --> 00:35:47,600
Hand me the cranberry juice.

580
00:35:55,330 --> 00:35:57,300
I've been meaning for us to have a...

581
00:35:58,390 --> 00:35:59,330
powwow.

582
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:03,180
Although I never imagined it to be...

583
00:36:03,180 --> 00:36:05,180
All that thrill?

584
00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:07,150
You have nothing to worry about.

585
00:36:07,150 --> 00:36:09,360
My lust bunny is locked away in my room.

586
00:36:09,360 --> 00:36:10,680
I even put a gag in his mouth.

587
00:36:11,250 --> 00:36:12,920
Of course, it was leather, and...

588
00:36:12,920 --> 00:36:14,920
he begged me to do it.

589
00:36:17,630 --> 00:36:18,720
Anyway, it's a...

590
00:36:18,720 --> 00:36:20,450
Starting Sunday...

591
00:36:20,450 --> 00:36:23,080
you and Deb will have this place all to yourselves.

592
00:36:23,960 --> 00:36:26,840
Um, buffalo wing?

593
00:36:29,420 --> 00:36:32,000
Deb is very upset you're leaving.

594
00:36:32,700 --> 00:36:36,040
You know how to stop her from buying everything on QVC.

595
00:36:37,290 --> 00:36:40,770
Truth is, I'm a little sorry to see you go myself.

596
00:36:41,430 --> 00:36:42,650
You are?

597
00:36:42,650 --> 00:36:44,420
Is that such a surprise?

598
00:36:44,920 --> 00:36:46,590
Franky, yes.

599
00:36:47,100 --> 00:36:50,450
Well, straight men take one look at me and run for the hills.

600
00:36:50,950 --> 00:36:54,870
Even my father ran me out on a rail.

601
00:36:56,150 --> 00:36:59,270
Well, that's his loss. You're a good man.

602
00:37:01,610 --> 00:37:03,590
In fact, considering...

603
00:37:04,070 --> 00:37:06,970
the number of hours I work, sometimes all night...

604
00:37:09,140 --> 00:37:12,710
I'd be a hell of a lot happier if I knew Deb wasn't in the house alone.

605
00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:14,960
Cop Horbath...

606
00:37:15,560 --> 00:37:17,340
are you asking me to stay?

607
00:37:19,580 --> 00:37:22,150
It doesn't take a detective to figure that out.

608
00:37:23,700 --> 00:37:24,480
But...

609
00:37:25,390 --> 00:37:26,740
it's up to you.

610
00:37:27,770 --> 00:37:30,120
What about my sex... my...

611
00:37:30,120 --> 00:37:32,120
love... life?

612
00:37:32,120 --> 00:37:33,920
I bought a sound machine.

613
00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:35,780
All I hear now is...

614
00:37:35,780 --> 00:37:38,810
raindrops falling, rivers flowing, birds chirping.

615
00:37:38,810 --> 00:37:42,750
Maybe I should get one of those, pretend I'm fucking in a rain forest.

616
00:37:44,450 --> 00:37:46,840
Well, I'd better get back to...

617
00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:48,840
Sean honey.

618
00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:51,960
You know, if, um...

619
00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:56,310
if you were gay, you'd make one hell of a bear.

620
00:38:05,410 --> 00:38:07,900
I told Melanie, who's sitting right over there,

621
00:38:07,900 --> 00:38:12,450
I said, doesn't matter what's going on between you and Lindsey, your first responsibility is that baby.

622
00:38:12,450 --> 00:38:14,240
Deb, could I get a piece of the Key Lime?

623
00:38:14,240 --> 00:38:16,180
You finish your meat loaf. But did they listen?

624
00:38:16,180 --> 00:38:17,520
Obviously not!

625
00:38:17,520 --> 00:38:19,710
Instead they go and destroy a family.

626
00:38:19,710 --> 00:38:21,800
Turn a happy home into a broken one.

627
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:23,800
Without even telling us.

628
00:38:24,040 --> 00:38:26,310
Coffee to go, Deb.

629
00:38:26,310 --> 00:38:28,010
How could you eat after what happened last night?

630
00:38:28,010 --> 00:38:30,850
You're telling me? Steam is still coming out of my ears.

631
00:38:33,750 --> 00:38:37,540
If I hear that fucking thing one more time, you're going to be hearing bells.

632
00:38:37,540 --> 00:38:39,880
My heart's broken. My soul...

633
00:38:39,880 --> 00:38:40,630
crushed.

634
00:38:40,630 --> 00:38:43,030
How do you think I feel? The insensitivity!

635
00:38:43,030 --> 00:38:44,630
You know, it's immoral. That's what it is.

636
00:38:44,630 --> 00:38:46,140
You're telling me.

637
00:38:46,140 --> 00:38:47,440
How could they do this.

638
00:38:47,930 --> 00:38:50,580
You were right, never trust munchers!

639
00:38:50,580 --> 00:38:51,840
Munchers?

640
00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:53,190
Mel and Linds.

641
00:38:53,720 --> 00:38:54,660
What the hell have they got to do with it?

642
00:38:54,660 --> 00:38:55,850
Who do you think is responsible?

643
00:38:55,850 --> 00:38:57,550
For closing Babylon?

644
00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:01,980
Is that all you care about?

645
00:39:02,680 --> 00:39:05,290
Who gives a shit if the cops closed down Babylon?

646
00:39:05,290 --> 00:39:10,900
I, for one, give a very big shit if that cum stain, Sapperstein was defrauding the internal revenue service

647
00:39:10,900 --> 00:39:16,370
by hiding thousands, perhaps even hundreds of thousands of dollars up in his office in pillowcases.

648
00:39:16,370 --> 00:39:20,090
Which, knowing him, you can be sure were not of the highest thread count.

649
00:39:20,530 --> 00:39:24,440
And now, because of his illegal activities, Babylon is gone.

650
00:39:24,440 --> 00:39:26,690
Kaput. Finito.

651
00:39:26,690 --> 00:39:30,510
And that concerns you more than the fact that Mel and Linds were lying to us.

652
00:39:30,510 --> 00:39:33,780
How my daughter and your son are the products of a broken home.

653
00:39:33,780 --> 00:39:36,190
Christ... the three of you!

654
00:39:36,730 --> 00:39:39,460
Never saw such... drama queens.

655
00:39:40,030 --> 00:39:44,030
First Lindsey was wailing to me on the phone the night she and Melanie split, and now you.

656
00:39:44,030 --> 00:39:47,990
Wait a minute! You're telling me you knew about this and you didn't tell me?!

657
00:39:47,990 --> 00:39:49,930
She asked me not to.

658
00:39:51,050 --> 00:39:55,160
So your loyalty to her, was more important than our friendship.

659
00:39:55,160 --> 00:39:57,280
Don't make this about is, Michael.

660
00:39:57,750 --> 00:39:59,280
Because it's not.

661
00:40:02,370 --> 00:40:04,890
The ever changing kaleidoscope of life.

662
00:40:08,410 --> 00:40:12,100
J.T. float, lost among the stars...

663
00:40:12,100 --> 00:40:16,370
wondering if he'll ever see Rage again.

664
00:40:35,170 --> 00:40:37,640
I promised I'd come for you, J.T.

665
00:40:37,640 --> 00:40:40,190
Even if I had to go to the end of the universe.

666
00:40:40,190 --> 00:40:42,410
I just did a test in front of the green screen.

667
00:40:42,410 --> 00:40:43,850
So?

668
00:40:43,850 --> 00:40:44,930
What do you think?

669
00:40:44,930 --> 00:40:47,570
It's hot. And itchy.

670
00:40:47,570 --> 00:40:49,140
Check out this package.

671
00:40:49,570 --> 00:40:51,980
That's gonna win an Oscar of special effects.

672
00:40:52,360 --> 00:40:54,110
Didn't hear you complaining.

673
00:40:54,890 --> 00:40:56,290
Okay, super hero...

674
00:40:56,290 --> 00:40:59,580
turn in your tights. Benjamin just pulled the plug.

675
00:40:59,580 --> 00:41:01,510
What? He can't do that.

676
00:41:01,510 --> 00:41:04,250
He can and he did. Green my ass...

677
00:41:04,250 --> 00:41:08,640
and not like in scene 32 where Rage gives J.T. the rimming of a lifetime.

678
00:41:08,640 --> 00:41:10,410
The picture's over budgeted, over scheduled...

679
00:41:10,410 --> 00:41:12,060
You said they say that about every picture.

680
00:41:12,060 --> 00:41:12,740
They do.

681
00:41:12,740 --> 00:41:14,300
Then what's the real reason?

682
00:41:14,300 --> 00:41:17,690
He's afraid. The times, the political climate.

683
00:41:17,690 --> 00:41:19,080
Well he's wrong!

684
00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:21,950
Tell him there are millions of queers out there with billions of dollars.

685
00:41:21,950 --> 00:41:25,610
He's more concerned about alienating the family audience.

686
00:41:25,610 --> 00:41:27,610
Pissing off the parent coorporation.

687
00:41:27,610 --> 00:41:29,610
Displeasing someone in Washington who

688
00:41:29,610 --> 00:41:32,540
makes that tax break very hard to come by.

689
00:41:32,540 --> 00:41:34,540
So it's over?

690
00:41:34,540 --> 00:41:35,390
Just like that?

691
00:41:35,390 --> 00:41:38,650
He's greenlighting "The Passion of Moses".

692
00:41:39,410 --> 00:41:42,910
Gay's out. God's in.

693
00:42:02,560 --> 00:42:04,730
Oh sweetie, do you have a cold?

694
00:42:04,730 --> 00:42:06,730
I think he caught one last night.

695
00:42:06,730 --> 00:42:08,370
I'm not surprised.

696
00:42:08,370 --> 00:42:11,610
Dragging him over here so we could play one big happy family.

697
00:42:11,610 --> 00:42:13,290
I didn't drag him.

698
00:42:13,290 --> 00:42:16,610
And you're the one who called, who insisted we keep us this ridiculous charade.

699
00:42:16,610 --> 00:42:18,530
And you saw why I did, didn't you?

700
00:42:18,530 --> 00:42:21,450
Now I have to deal with all their shit, as well as our own.

701
00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:23,860
Speaking of shit.

702
00:42:23,860 --> 00:42:25,460
Did you bring his medication?

703
00:42:25,460 --> 00:42:28,200
Delicious cherry flavor your kids will love?

704
00:42:28,200 --> 00:42:30,150
He hates it.

705
00:42:30,150 --> 00:42:31,230
Why don't you let me?

706
00:42:31,230 --> 00:42:34,180
Cause I can do it! Would you just go to work already?

707
00:42:38,770 --> 00:42:40,260
It had to be done.

708
00:42:41,040 --> 00:42:42,520
We had to tell them.

709
00:42:48,690 --> 00:42:50,400
It's just that...

710
00:42:51,970 --> 00:42:53,060
What?

711
00:42:55,450 --> 00:42:57,520
Telling them...

712
00:42:58,440 --> 00:43:00,390
Seeing their faces...

713
00:43:00,880 --> 00:43:03,100
Knowing they know...

714
00:43:09,100 --> 00:43:12,220
Somehow makes it real.

715
00:43:31,120 --> 00:43:32,700
Yeah?

716
00:43:35,050 --> 00:43:38,250
We're having some of the neighbours over Sunday for a barbecue.

717
00:43:38,250 --> 00:43:41,200
Have us a couple of members of our illustrious English department

718
00:43:41,200 --> 00:43:41,970
Kelly and Braverman...

719
00:43:41,970 --> 00:43:43,970
Why don't you guys come too?

720
00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:44,930
Sounds great.

721
00:43:44,930 --> 00:43:47,140
And be sure to bring Hunter.

722
00:43:48,500 --> 00:43:49,610
Hey...

723
00:43:49,930 --> 00:43:51,310
How's it going?

724
00:43:52,030 --> 00:43:53,810
They just moved in across the street.

725
00:43:53,810 --> 00:43:55,350
They got twins.

726
00:43:55,650 --> 00:43:58,190
Seems like everybody around here has got kids.

727
00:43:58,190 --> 00:44:01,870
It won't be long before you'll be out, strolling with your own bambino too.

728
00:44:02,790 --> 00:44:04,580
This one just went on the market.

729
00:44:04,580 --> 00:44:06,950
Nice yard, but it could use a makeover.

730
00:44:06,950 --> 00:44:08,190
Couldn't we all.

731
00:44:08,660 --> 00:44:10,070
Wonder what they're asking.

732
00:44:10,070 --> 00:44:12,700
In that condition, it's probably a bargain.

733
00:44:13,260 --> 00:44:15,630
Sure you guys aren't interested?

734
00:44:16,220 --> 00:44:19,220
Oh, we've talked it over and decided

735
00:44:19,220 --> 00:44:21,230
that we stay put for now.

736
00:44:21,230 --> 00:44:24,030
How soon could we see it?

737
00:44:25,220 --> 00:44:28,720
Like you said, we're on top of each other in the apartment, Hunter needs his own space,

738
00:44:28,720 --> 00:44:31,100
Jenny Rebecca is going to need her own room.

739
00:44:31,100 --> 00:44:32,920
A yard, to play in...

740
00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:36,180
We'll write down the realtor's number and you can give him a call.

741
00:44:38,360 --> 00:44:40,810
I thought you wanted to stay in Liberty Avenue.

742
00:44:42,890 --> 00:44:45,320
Maybe it's time for a change.

743
00:44:55,420 --> 00:44:57,160
Brian!

744
00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:03,170
So why the urgent message, meet me at Babylon now?

745
00:45:05,020 --> 00:45:09,410
I found that little something you told me to treat myself to.

746
00:45:09,410 --> 00:45:10,520
What?

747
00:45:10,520 --> 00:45:12,440
You're standing in it.

748
00:45:16,710 --> 00:45:18,370
Babylon?!

749
00:45:19,010 --> 00:45:22,290
A said a toy, not a playroom!

750
00:45:22,290 --> 00:45:23,010
I want it!

751
00:45:23,010 --> 00:45:24,400
Oh you want it.

752
00:45:24,400 --> 00:45:25,750
What for?

753
00:45:25,750 --> 00:45:28,150
I got to keep the boys off the street at night.

754
00:45:28,150 --> 00:45:30,500
I'm going to provide them with a warm and friendly environment

755
00:45:30,500 --> 00:45:34,880
in which to use illegal substances and have promiscuous sex. Safely, of course.

756
00:45:34,880 --> 00:45:37,740
A noble sentiment, but investment wise, not very practical.

757
00:45:37,740 --> 00:45:40,310
And what would be practical, Theodore?

758
00:45:40,910 --> 00:45:42,610
To get married?

759
00:45:42,610 --> 00:45:44,660
And move to the suburbs?

760
00:45:44,660 --> 00:45:48,220
Become a home loving, child raising, God fearing

761
00:45:48,220 --> 00:45:50,790
imitation heterosexual?

762
00:45:52,160 --> 00:45:53,480
And for what?

763
00:45:54,630 --> 00:45:59,100
So that I can become another dead soul, going to the mall, and dropping my kids off at school.

764
00:45:59,100 --> 00:46:02,070
And having barbecues in the back yard.

765
00:46:07,160 --> 00:46:09,590
That's their death.

766
00:46:10,880 --> 00:46:11,940
Not mine.

767
00:46:18,460 --> 00:46:21,000
I'm a cock sucker!

768
00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:22,710
I'm queer!

769
00:46:23,970 --> 00:46:28,370
And to anyone who takes pity, or offense...

770
00:46:29,840 --> 00:46:33,420
I say, judge yourself.

771
00:46:36,170 --> 00:46:38,460
This is where I live.

772
00:46:40,430 --> 00:46:42,590
This is who I am.

773
00:46:46,190 --> 00:46:51,520
And as Rage stands at the precepice of a new world...

774
00:48:43,340 --> 00:48:47,130
It all seems to be coming together. No glitches that I can forsee.

775
00:48:47,130 --> 00:48:50,000
Everything looks good. The lease had been signed,

776
00:48:50,000 --> 00:48:52,590
the liquor license had been transferred into the name of Kinnetic Corp.,

777
00:48:52,590 --> 00:48:56,620
you've got enough insurance that if someone so much as sneezes, you're protected...

778
00:48:56,620 --> 00:48:59,640
In short, the joint's all yours.

779
00:48:59,640 --> 00:49:02,010
Theodore, you are a marvel.

780
00:49:02,010 --> 00:49:05,950
Although when I said go buy yourself a new toy, this isn't exactly the toy I had in mind.

781
00:49:05,950 --> 00:49:10,980
It says in the box "appropriate for boys from ages 19 to 40", so stop fretting, mother,

782
00:49:10,980 --> 00:49:12,980
I can afford it.

783
00:49:14,310 --> 00:49:16,290
Are you sure we can afford it?

784
00:49:16,290 --> 00:49:20,770
We did the math a dozen times, even without the movie we each have enough income.

785
00:49:20,770 --> 00:49:23,060
Plus, the money we've saved...

786
00:49:23,060 --> 00:49:24,840
I just need some reassurance.

787
00:49:28,810 --> 00:49:29,960
How's that?

788
00:49:30,260 --> 00:49:33,030
I'm already thinking color schemes.

789
00:49:34,330 --> 00:49:39,030
All the back room needs is a fresh coat of black paint, and a condom dispenser.

790
00:49:39,030 --> 00:49:44,340
What about pink walls with a sky blue ceiling and white fluffy clouds for the baby's room?

791
00:49:44,340 --> 00:49:49,630
That's amazing how with a few simple touches you can turn a tired old room into a fresh and inviting space.

792
00:49:49,630 --> 00:49:54,420
Or we could wallpaper, remember how Monty and Ilay had their kid's room wallpapered with Disney characters?

793
00:49:54,420 --> 00:49:58,600
And get a cleaning crew in here to jackhammer the dried cum off the floor.

794
00:49:59,520 --> 00:50:01,810
Yeah, but it's probably yours.

795
00:50:03,020 --> 00:50:05,670
With all this space, at least we won't be on top of each other.

796
00:50:05,670 --> 00:50:07,990
That's unless we choose to be.

797
00:50:08,860 --> 00:50:11,510
I want to reopen by Friday,

798
00:50:11,510 --> 00:50:14,410
Friday? This Friday? But that's impossible.

799
00:50:14,410 --> 00:50:16,690
You said that every day that we're closed, we're losing money.

800
00:50:16,690 --> 00:50:19,660
Yeah, but we still need to line up bartenders, go-go boys, a new manager...

801
00:50:19,660 --> 00:50:21,840
Well then, you better line them up.

802
00:50:23,080 --> 00:50:25,440
There's so much to do!

803
00:50:25,440 --> 00:50:28,720
They say it took 500 years to complete Notre Dam.

804
00:50:29,130 --> 00:50:31,020
Is that supposed to be encouraging?

805
00:50:31,020 --> 00:50:36,120
We're making a home, together. Who cares how long it takes?

806
00:50:37,910 --> 00:50:40,720
Well, if there's a problem we'll just change the table cloths.

807
00:50:41,260 --> 00:50:42,730
And the napkins.

808
00:50:43,520 --> 00:50:45,250
And the flowers.

809
00:50:46,160 --> 00:50:47,670
And the menu.

810
00:50:48,730 --> 00:50:51,280
Let me know if you wanna change the groom...

811
00:50:51,280 --> 00:50:52,690
Okay...

812
00:50:54,050 --> 00:50:55,740
What was that?

813
00:50:55,740 --> 00:50:58,160
The wedding of Alien and Predator.

814
00:50:58,160 --> 00:51:00,990
The groom's the producer of the channel 5 six o'clock news.

815
00:51:00,990 --> 00:51:03,730
It will be big news if I survive.

816
00:51:03,730 --> 00:51:08,350
Bride's a twice-divorced drama queen, Panzer division, who's convinced there is going to be a disaster,

817
00:51:08,350 --> 00:51:12,650
and believe me, if she doesn't get off my ass, which are words you rarely hear me say,

818
00:51:12,650 --> 00:51:13,510
there will be.

819
00:51:13,510 --> 00:51:16,700
Well it can't be any worse than Mel and Lindsey's anniversary surprise.

820
00:51:16,700 --> 00:51:20,850
No shit. - Now honey, I can't let yourself get all worked up.

821
00:51:24,110 --> 00:51:26,250
Of course, I realize that may be genetically impossible.

822
00:51:26,250 --> 00:51:30,100
Hey boys. Bacon cheese burger for Michael, pot pie for Em,

823
00:51:30,440 --> 00:51:32,910
and a BLT for Teddy,

824
00:51:32,910 --> 00:51:35,730
hold the bacon, lettuce, bread, mayo and fries.

825
00:51:38,390 --> 00:51:40,930
Trying to keep yourself in shape for your new boyfriend?

826
00:51:41,190 --> 00:51:43,100
He's adorable. - Yeah.

827
00:51:43,100 --> 00:51:45,050
He's history.

828
00:51:46,240 --> 00:51:48,750
Jacks off to photos of Ted Kennedy.

829
00:51:49,410 --> 00:51:52,740
Actually thought Marlon Brando needed to gain a few pounds.

830
00:51:54,320 --> 00:51:57,620
That's why he was in love with me. Fat and old turn him on.

831
00:51:57,620 --> 00:51:59,330
Teddy, you're not fat.

832
00:51:59,990 --> 00:52:01,820
Well, not hugely grossly.

833
00:52:01,820 --> 00:52:03,820
And you're certainly not old.

834
00:52:04,510 --> 00:52:06,220
Excuse me, sir.

835
00:52:06,220 --> 00:52:07,390
Sir?

836
00:52:08,450 --> 00:52:10,820
Babylon reopens Friday night.

837
00:52:11,820 --> 00:52:13,700
Here you go, guys.

838
00:52:15,880 --> 00:52:18,350
He called me "sir".

839
00:52:19,050 --> 00:52:21,880
He spoke loudly, so I could hear.

840
00:52:22,570 --> 00:52:24,470
I thought Babylon went belly-up.

841
00:52:24,470 --> 00:52:27,270
You mean you didn't know? Tell him, Teddy.

842
00:52:27,270 --> 00:52:29,070
I resuscitated it.

843
00:52:29,070 --> 00:52:31,890
Put my mouth on it, and blew.

844
00:52:32,510 --> 00:52:35,140
So that's how you spend your disposable income?

845
00:52:35,950 --> 00:52:37,300
You should've bought a house.

846
00:52:37,300 --> 00:52:42,010
Some of us queers prefer dancing and fucking, to kiddies and picket fences.

847
00:52:42,010 --> 00:52:44,400
Word on the street is that Poppers is the new hotspot.

848
00:52:44,400 --> 00:52:48,820
Friday night Poppers goes back to being the piss hole it always was.

849
00:52:56,930 --> 00:53:00,410
Hi J.R.! Your daddies love you.

850
00:53:01,290 --> 00:53:02,600
There's this new place in the mall.

851
00:53:02,600 --> 00:53:06,670
You design the bears yourself and pick out their outfits, record their voices...

852
00:53:06,670 --> 00:53:09,300
It's adorable! - Precious.

853
00:53:10,750 --> 00:53:13,770
You'll have to forgive Melanie, she's been up all night with J.R.

854
00:53:13,770 --> 00:53:17,360
She has colic, cried for four hours straight.

855
00:53:19,340 --> 00:53:23,460
Look, I wanted to apologize for getting so heated the other night.

856
00:53:23,850 --> 00:53:26,880
It was a shock, that's all. I wasn't expecting... - We know.

857
00:53:26,880 --> 00:53:28,000
No one was.

858
00:53:28,520 --> 00:53:31,280
Although, now that I remember,

859
00:53:31,280 --> 00:53:37,170
Every time I would stop by, one of you was always out, or at work, or taking a nap...

860
00:53:38,340 --> 00:53:40,820
Anyway, I'm sorry. - You said that.

861
00:53:41,500 --> 00:53:44,410
I mean that after all this time, you two couldn't work things out that it had to come to this...

862
00:53:44,410 --> 00:53:49,390
Thank you very much, we're sorry too. Now if you don't mind can we not discuss our marital problems?

863
00:53:49,390 --> 00:53:53,390
The important thing is, we need to decide how we're going to take care of our child.

864
00:53:54,900 --> 00:53:56,310
Our child?

865
00:53:56,550 --> 00:54:00,050
How much time she'll spend with you and with Linds, and with Ben and me...

866
00:54:00,050 --> 00:54:02,050
we're buying a new house.

867
00:54:02,480 --> 00:54:05,580
I'll tell you how much time she's gonna spend with you. None!

868
00:54:05,860 --> 00:54:07,580
Melanie, please, would you lower your voice?

869
00:54:07,580 --> 00:54:09,540
I'm sure we could handle this without screaming.

870
00:54:09,540 --> 00:54:11,540
Who's screaming, I'm making a point.

871
00:54:11,800 --> 00:54:13,280
Tell that to her.

872
00:54:14,590 --> 00:54:17,810
We had an agreement that I'd be a part of our daughter's life!

873
00:54:17,810 --> 00:54:20,850
Yeah, which at no time included physical custody. That was never discussed.

874
00:54:20,850 --> 00:54:24,880
Because when we made it, you two were together! A couple, a family!

875
00:54:25,110 --> 00:54:27,100
Now all that changed, now you're not!

876
00:54:27,100 --> 00:54:29,250
Why, I'm still her mother. - So am I.

877
00:54:29,250 --> 00:54:31,290
And I'm her father. - No one is denying that.

878
00:54:31,290 --> 00:54:35,070
She is! She's saying I have no rights! - No, I'm saying you may be her father,

879
00:54:35,070 --> 00:54:39,930
her biological father, but Lindsey and me are still her parents. That hasn't changed.

880
00:54:44,990 --> 00:54:47,300
Now, if you will excuse me,

881
00:54:47,300 --> 00:54:49,770
my daughter needs to be fed.

882
00:54:52,850 --> 00:54:57,740
Right! Upon arrival, the guests will be offered a glass of Chateauneuf du Pape 1991.

883
00:54:57,740 --> 00:54:59,170
Make that 1990.

884
00:54:59,170 --> 00:55:01,170
1990.

885
00:55:01,170 --> 00:55:04,490
A string quartet plays a medeley of your favorite Elton John songs...

886
00:55:04,490 --> 00:55:07,100
I've decided to go with "Eine kleine Nachtmusic".

887
00:55:07,100 --> 00:55:09,770
Well, scratch "Rocket Man".

888
00:55:09,770 --> 00:55:15,070
Now, when the wedding march begins... we are keeping the wedding march?

889
00:55:15,070 --> 00:55:18,920
Oh, of course... you'll enter from over there, um,

890
00:55:18,920 --> 00:55:21,700
Why not from over here? - You'll enter from over here,

891
00:55:21,700 --> 00:55:25,370
holding a spray of lillies. - I'm thinking of white roses and baby's breath.

892
00:55:25,370 --> 00:55:30,080
Baby's breath, okay, you'll then proceed to the bower, um,

893
00:55:30,080 --> 00:55:32,470
at which point... - What if it rains?

894
00:55:32,790 --> 00:55:35,060
I already asked Johnny. No rain.

895
00:55:35,060 --> 00:55:39,730
Your weather man couldn't predict a hurricane if it was blowing down Market street.

896
00:55:41,070 --> 00:55:44,060
I've gotta get back to the station, I've got a remote coming in from Iraq.

897
00:55:44,060 --> 00:55:45,280
Iraq?

898
00:55:45,740 --> 00:55:47,430
Screw Iraq!

899
00:55:47,740 --> 00:55:51,510
We're having a wedding! - Now now, don't you worry...

900
00:55:51,510 --> 00:55:56,760
I am going to have a little talk with God, and there's no way he's going to let anything rain on your...

901
00:55:56,760 --> 00:55:58,460
parade.

902
00:55:59,710 --> 00:56:03,630
The ladies room. We haven't decided the color of the toilet tissue.

903
00:56:04,050 --> 00:56:07,470
Lavender. No, mint! No, buttercup!

904
00:56:07,470 --> 00:56:11,450
I wish you could see Lila under less stressful conditions.

905
00:56:11,450 --> 00:56:13,450
She'll still drive you nuts, but...

906
00:56:13,910 --> 00:56:17,910
I love her. - Well, of course you do. That's what this is all about.

907
00:56:18,230 --> 00:56:20,750
You know, I gotta hand it to you. I don't know how you do it.

908
00:56:22,340 --> 00:56:28,260
One of the reasons we queer guys are around... help you straight people straighten up.

909
00:56:30,330 --> 00:56:35,170
Just make sure you pack my swimsuits and t-shirts soon, it's summer in Australia. - Yes sir.

910
00:56:35,170 --> 00:56:38,470
Anyways, they fired him. Three days into production.

911
00:56:38,470 --> 00:56:41,160
First time director, huge production... he couldn't handle it.

912
00:56:41,160 --> 00:56:44,620
Also I hear he and Orlando Bloom did not get along.

913
00:56:44,620 --> 00:56:49,100
Blair? I want that trainer in my hotel every morning at 5 am, uh?

914
00:56:49,530 --> 00:56:53,260
Well, call the producer and fucking demand it!

915
00:56:53,260 --> 00:56:54,370
How long will you be gone?

916
00:56:54,370 --> 00:56:58,210
Well, it's a six month shoot, provided I can do post here, we're still negotiating.

917
00:56:58,210 --> 00:57:00,080
Where the hell is my Ambien.

918
00:57:00,800 --> 00:57:04,470
On an 18 hour flight, this is the only way to fly. - I'm sure.

919
00:57:04,470 --> 00:57:07,410
Listen, I don't mean to throw you out or anything, but I just figured

920
00:57:07,410 --> 00:57:11,520
while I was gone would be a good time to do some work on the house, you know, redecorate.

921
00:57:11,520 --> 00:57:16,040
But... - Please feel free to stay for a couple of days until you line up with something else.

922
00:57:16,500 --> 00:57:17,490
Thanks.

923
00:57:18,840 --> 00:57:22,190
Even though I'm on the other side of the world, I haven't lost my passion for Rage.

924
00:57:22,190 --> 00:57:24,550
My development people are going to shop it around,

925
00:57:24,960 --> 00:57:31,150
the gay crusader is too powerful to be defeated by some asshole who can't see beyond the box office.

926
00:57:31,150 --> 00:57:32,480
Right?

927
00:57:36,310 --> 00:57:37,530
Blair?

928
00:57:38,300 --> 00:57:41,580
I'm not happy with the time we've arranged for the car...

929
00:57:41,580 --> 00:57:44,570
I can't believe the way she talked to me. - You're the father.

930
00:57:44,570 --> 00:57:47,670
But I'm not the parent, at least not as far as Melanie is concerned.

931
00:57:47,670 --> 00:57:51,800
Oh, that's bullshit. You're every bit as much her parent as she is. - You should've heard her.

932
00:57:51,800 --> 00:57:54,340
Screaming so loud, she woke up the baby.

933
00:57:54,940 --> 00:57:56,530
While they are carrying on...

934
00:57:57,770 --> 00:58:01,510
I know we can provide a more stable home life for J.R. than they can.

935
00:58:01,510 --> 00:58:06,790
I'm sure you're right. But the one thing we mustn't do is overreact. We've gotta stay calm,

936
00:58:06,790 --> 00:58:09,850
and rational. - Everybody keeps telling me that!

937
00:58:13,220 --> 00:58:16,830
Alright. I'll be calm. And rational.

938
00:58:18,470 --> 00:58:21,100
There's no way I'm giving up my kid.

939
00:58:23,190 --> 00:58:25,880
Finish up with those lights, we're about to open the doors!

940
00:58:25,880 --> 00:58:28,690
Could you move those cartons behind the bar? - Yes sir.

941
00:58:28,690 --> 00:58:30,450
And don't call me "sir"!

942
00:58:30,800 --> 00:58:33,380
Break a leg, baby!

943
00:58:33,930 --> 00:58:37,430
Just don't do it while we're shaking our booties. - I didn't think I'd see you here.

944
00:58:37,430 --> 00:58:39,200
Thought you'd be too busy with the wedding plans.

945
00:58:39,200 --> 00:58:42,640
I'm never to busy to sit ring-side on opening night.

946
00:58:42,640 --> 00:58:44,640
Ready in two minutes.

947
00:58:45,030 --> 00:58:46,640
And what have we here?

948
00:58:46,640 --> 00:58:49,540
This is Alonzo, this is Emmett.

949
00:58:49,540 --> 00:58:53,080
Already picturing a moonlit beach, caressed by a carribean breeze,

950
00:58:53,080 --> 00:58:55,990
the palms sway gently to a latin guitar.

951
00:58:55,990 --> 00:58:59,150
We didn't have too many palm trees in Trenton.

952
00:58:59,150 --> 00:59:01,190
Alonzo is the new club manager.

953
00:59:01,190 --> 00:59:04,600
And may I say, a vast improvement over the former one.

954
00:59:05,850 --> 00:59:09,960
I haven't have this much fun with a toy since my erector set.

955
00:59:09,960 --> 00:59:14,360
My parent's couldn't afford an erector set. So I decided to play with the one God gave me.

956
00:59:14,730 --> 00:59:18,120
Okay boys! Take your places!

957
00:59:18,430 --> 00:59:20,500
Let's bring the lights down...

958
00:59:20,870 --> 00:59:23,160
and the strobes up.

959
00:59:23,940 --> 00:59:26,940
And we're back in business. - Not quite.

960
00:59:29,610 --> 00:59:32,970
Ain't Babylon without that thumpa-thumpa!

961
00:59:32,970 --> 00:59:35,880
Okay boys and boys, what time is it?

962
00:59:35,880 --> 00:59:39,050
It's showtime!

963
01:00:17,420 --> 01:00:19,500
What - the - fuck?

964
01:00:21,030 --> 01:00:24,410
Don't worry, it's still... it's early.

965
01:00:32,190 --> 01:00:35,710
Where is everybody? - It's "Shorts and Shots" night at Poppers,

966
01:00:35,710 --> 01:00:38,070
all the hot guys are over there.

967
01:00:38,370 --> 01:00:42,020
Think I'll go, um, check it out.

968
01:01:04,130 --> 01:01:05,720
Todd.

969
01:01:06,440 --> 01:01:08,220
Hey...

970
01:01:08,220 --> 01:01:11,100
Didn't think you're still in town.

971
01:01:11,100 --> 01:01:14,500
This is Justin, and so is this.

972
01:01:14,500 --> 01:01:17,490
Seems there's no shortage of us in Hollywood.

973
01:01:17,490 --> 01:01:19,490
You get me another Ghetto, hun.

974
01:01:23,990 --> 01:01:26,960
He's cute, if you like the type.

975
01:01:29,070 --> 01:01:31,480
Really sucks about Rage, doesn't it? - Yeah.

976
01:01:31,480 --> 01:01:36,360
Really sucks. I swear there's not an ounce of artistic integrity in this fucking town.

977
01:01:36,850 --> 01:01:39,670
Why don't you go back to New York? To the theater.

978
01:01:39,670 --> 01:01:43,130
I would in a heartbeat if I didn't have a 3-picture deal with Bruckheimer.

979
01:01:44,210 --> 01:01:48,160
So where's our genious director? - He left yesterday for Australia.

980
01:01:48,870 --> 01:01:51,450
I heard he's taking over that remake of Mothra?

981
01:01:51,450 --> 01:01:56,690
Well, it isn't a Brett Keller film unless something flys. - He still plans on doing Rage, though.

982
01:01:56,690 --> 01:02:01,230
His people are out shopping it to other studios, now that it's in turnabout.

983
01:02:01,950 --> 01:02:04,480
That's turn-around. - Right.

984
01:02:04,480 --> 01:02:07,030
He swore he's going to get it made.

985
01:02:07,030 --> 01:02:11,490
Well, that's out Brettsky. Fighting the evil empire single handed. But,

986
01:02:11,490 --> 01:02:18,110
in this business, the only thing that rises from the dead is Dracula. And then only if Brad Pitt is playing.

987
01:02:18,870 --> 01:02:21,820
When something's over, it's over.

988
01:02:47,230 --> 01:02:49,920
You look like you gave an orgy and nobody came.

989
01:02:49,920 --> 01:02:54,100
I love how you can take a stale cliche and make it fresh.

990
01:02:54,810 --> 01:02:56,630
Could you do the same for this muffin?

991
01:02:57,620 --> 01:02:59,150
What the fuck's with you?

992
01:02:59,630 --> 01:03:03,720
Guess how many homos showed up last night for the reopening of Babylon.

993
01:03:04,540 --> 01:03:06,480
Is this one of those lightbulb jokes?

994
01:03:06,970 --> 01:03:10,630
Twelve. Counted'em. Twelve.

995
01:03:11,420 --> 01:03:14,630
Eight fucking grand, down the crapper.

996
01:03:15,110 --> 01:03:18,780
If I don't do something quick, it's going to be another eight fucking grand tonight,

997
01:03:18,780 --> 01:03:21,460
and tomorrow night, and the next night.

998
01:03:21,460 --> 01:03:23,970
Sounds like one hell of an expensive blowjob.

999
01:03:23,970 --> 01:03:25,970
I wouldn't have mind it, even that.

1000
01:03:26,620 --> 01:03:30,860
But not one of them was even remotely fuckable. - I don't get it, where did they all go?

1001
01:03:30,860 --> 01:03:34,170
The music was fucking awesome, and only a buck a shooter.

1002
01:03:34,170 --> 01:03:37,010
Where you boys have been all night? - Poppers.

1003
01:03:37,270 --> 01:03:40,540
Poppers?! That dump's older than I am.

1004
01:03:40,540 --> 01:03:44,020
The only thing that is...

1005
01:03:44,020 --> 01:03:45,780
There you have it.

1006
01:03:48,850 --> 01:03:53,920
You of all people should know. There's no one more fickle than a fag.

1007
01:03:58,110 --> 01:04:00,110
Hey. - Sorry I'm late.

1008
01:04:01,520 --> 01:04:04,350
The woman in front of me had a stack of coupons.

1009
01:04:05,800 --> 01:04:08,990
Hey, sweetie! - Hi Mommy.

1010
01:04:08,990 --> 01:04:11,150
Did you have fun with mama?

1011
01:04:13,020 --> 01:04:15,220
Here's the mail. - Thanks.

1012
01:04:15,730 --> 01:04:21,280
Okay big boy... gather up your toys, it's time to go.

1013
01:04:21,280 --> 01:04:24,050
Mama, I don't want to go.

1014
01:04:24,760 --> 01:04:27,090
Are we gonna go through this every time?

1015
01:04:29,500 --> 01:04:33,730
It's okay, sweetie. I'll see you tomorrow when Mommy goes to work, okay?

1016
01:04:34,690 --> 01:04:38,030
How's J.R.? - Up all night, screaming.

1017
01:04:38,030 --> 01:04:41,900
Why don't you let me take her? - You can't be up all night, and look after Gus, and work all day.

1018
01:04:41,900 --> 01:04:44,970
You're exhausted. - Don't worry about me, okay? I can handle it.

1019
01:04:44,970 --> 01:04:49,040
No one said you couldn't. - Then don't start. - I'm not starting anything.

1020
01:04:50,140 --> 01:04:52,400
I just wish there was some way we could just... - Make up?

1021
01:04:53,100 --> 01:04:54,400
Get along.

1022
01:04:55,070 --> 01:04:57,800
Shit. - What is it?

1023
01:04:57,800 --> 01:05:00,890
That little fucker hired a lawyer.

1024
01:05:00,890 --> 01:05:02,890
Her name is Bobby Bennett.

1025
01:05:02,890 --> 01:05:05,080
I thought she was married to Hugh Heffner.

1026
01:05:05,080 --> 01:05:08,490
That's Barbie Benton. This is a tough gay lawyer.

1027
01:05:08,490 --> 01:05:13,170
She took the first gay adoption case in Pennsylvania to the state's supreme court, and won. - Yeah.

1028
01:05:13,170 --> 01:05:16,790
She said as J.R.'s biological father I have rights, and I should fight for them.

1029
01:05:16,790 --> 01:05:18,790
No! No, I don't like it there.

1030
01:05:20,390 --> 01:05:24,900
So, she has agreed to take our case. - Glad to see you stand up for yourself.

1031
01:05:24,900 --> 01:05:28,370
I'm sorry it had to come to this. - Well they didn't leave me any choice!

1032
01:05:29,670 --> 01:05:31,570
Is this where you want it, Deb?

1033
01:05:31,570 --> 01:05:34,520
Where I want it is in the garbage. But...

1034
01:05:34,520 --> 01:05:37,320
it's Carl's favorite chair, so...

1035
01:05:47,550 --> 01:05:50,380
Hey, that's better, huh? - Oh yeah, much better.

1036
01:05:50,730 --> 01:05:54,860
Well, I'm not going to let my daughter be raised by a couple of single mothers.

1037
01:05:54,860 --> 01:05:57,510
When there's a loving, stable home with two fathers.

1038
01:05:58,860 --> 01:06:00,580
Single mothers?

1039
01:06:01,930 --> 01:06:04,450
You just said, "single mothers".

1040
01:06:05,170 --> 01:06:06,440
You mean like me?

1041
01:06:07,100 --> 01:06:10,510
I wasn't talking about you, I wasn't even thinking about you. - Yeah, so what else is new.

1042
01:06:10,510 --> 01:06:13,660
But I was a single mother. And guess what,

1043
01:06:13,660 --> 01:06:17,640
even without a father, you still had enough sense to come in out of the rain.

1044
01:06:17,640 --> 01:06:20,350
Sometimes. - That's not what I was talking about.

1045
01:06:20,350 --> 01:06:23,590
Christ sakes, mom, could you stop misinterpreting? - Who's misinterpreting?

1046
01:06:23,590 --> 01:06:26,780
All we're saying... - I know what you're saying, I speak the language,

1047
01:06:26,780 --> 01:06:32,200
thank you very much! You think there's two of you, that you're better equipped to raise a kid.

1048
01:06:32,830 --> 01:06:35,960
Let me tell you two experts something.

1049
01:06:35,960 --> 01:06:40,140
Not everyone is fortunate enough to have a partner and enough money to stay home and raise their kids.

1050
01:06:40,140 --> 01:06:42,700
Some of us had to work. Night and day!

1051
01:06:43,290 --> 01:06:45,970
Sometimes till two in the fucking morning.

1052
01:06:46,790 --> 01:06:49,360
So that our kids could have sneakers and jeans, and

1053
01:06:49,360 --> 01:06:53,040
walkmans and go to the movies, just like all their friends.

1054
01:06:53,580 --> 01:06:56,850
And while we were out there working, we were just hoping, and praying to God,

1055
01:06:56,850 --> 01:06:59,760
they didn't get sick, or get in trouble.

1056
01:07:00,820 --> 01:07:02,540
But we had no choice.

1057
01:07:03,150 --> 01:07:06,370
We made whatever sacrifice we could for out kids' happiness.

1058
01:07:08,600 --> 01:07:12,370
So, you two think you could do it better?

1059
01:07:13,460 --> 01:07:15,450
All I gotta say is...

1060
01:07:16,270 --> 01:07:18,050
good for you.

1061
01:07:24,930 --> 01:07:28,900
I almost didn't recognize you since you gained all that weight!

1062
01:07:28,900 --> 01:07:33,210
It's not that much. - I wish that I could gain weight like that.

1063
01:07:33,210 --> 01:07:39,930
I try and I try and I eat, and I eat but no matter what I do, I just can't keep it on.

1064
01:07:39,930 --> 01:07:42,940
Pity. - Chocolate? - I'm on a diet.

1065
01:07:44,560 --> 01:07:46,750
Your hair is getting thinner.

1066
01:07:47,550 --> 01:07:50,550
Look, whatever else is going on, I've always had a healthy head of hair.

1067
01:07:50,550 --> 01:07:53,650
Well, I hate to contradict Mrs. Brawling,

1068
01:07:53,650 --> 01:07:58,310
But the mirror only has one face and... you're looking at it.

1069
01:07:59,220 --> 01:08:00,310
Shit!

1070
01:08:01,160 --> 01:08:02,910
I'm getting bald!

1071
01:08:03,810 --> 01:08:05,790
What do I do?!

1072
01:08:05,790 --> 01:08:08,020
Convert to Judaism and wear a yarmulka?

1073
01:08:08,020 --> 01:08:11,030
There's no use fighting it, sweatheart.

1074
01:08:13,220 --> 01:08:17,610
I'm afraid age is the last trick any of us picks up.

1075
01:08:17,610 --> 01:08:22,680
The problem is, after it fucks us, it doesn't leave.

1076
01:08:22,680 --> 01:08:29,060
So if I were you, I'd stop singing the title song from "poor me" and accept it.

1077
01:08:29,060 --> 01:08:31,060
Then what? Die?

1078
01:08:31,060 --> 01:08:33,190
Or move to Palm Springs.

1079
01:08:33,190 --> 01:08:36,630
Pour yourself a Martini and ogle the...

1080
01:08:36,630 --> 01:08:39,610
Mexican boys.

1081
01:08:41,410 --> 01:08:45,800
Now... what shall we do with this?

1082
01:08:46,380 --> 01:08:49,980
Same old, same old?

1083
01:08:51,010 --> 01:08:55,330
It doesn't matter how many of these weddings I do, I always get a lump in my throat and a tear in my eyes.

1084
01:08:55,330 --> 01:08:57,880
Maybe it's allergies. What if everybody starts sneezing?

1085
01:08:57,880 --> 01:09:02,530
You see, I told you, we should've had it indoors! - The only stifles today will be stifles of joy,

1086
01:09:02,530 --> 01:09:05,400
from how lovely the bride looks. - I still think I should've left my hair down,

1087
01:09:05,400 --> 01:09:09,630
my face looks too round, doesn't it? - It's the perfect frame for the perfect picture.

1088
01:09:09,630 --> 01:09:12,610
You hear that, honey? - It's all an illusion, I'm a mess.

1089
01:09:12,610 --> 01:09:15,630
Are those rain clouds? - I think that it's time to cue the wedding march.

1090
01:09:16,750 --> 01:09:19,910
You need to relax.

1091
01:09:23,030 --> 01:09:24,980
To my beautiful bride...

1092
01:09:24,980 --> 01:09:30,110
From now on, you're my morning news, my evening news, and my special bulletin.

1093
01:09:30,110 --> 01:09:32,990
Don, what a beautiful sentiment!

1094
01:09:34,460 --> 01:09:36,320
Oh my God. Oh my God!

1095
01:09:36,320 --> 01:09:38,460
Alright, places, everyb...

1096
01:09:39,140 --> 01:09:42,370
I told you something would go wrong? Didn't I tell you there'll be a disaster?!

1097
01:09:42,370 --> 01:09:45,830
My blouse! Look at me! How can I go out there? I can't. It's ruined!

1098
01:09:45,830 --> 01:09:47,940
Everything is ruined!

1099
01:09:48,540 --> 01:09:49,840
Take it off.

1100
01:09:49,840 --> 01:09:53,470
Take it off. Take your blouse off, come on, be quick about it!

1101
01:09:53,470 --> 01:09:55,470
Chop chop! - Okay...

1102
01:09:56,960 --> 01:09:58,400
Oh my God.

1103
01:09:59,610 --> 01:10:02,210
Go, go go go. - Going!

1104
01:10:06,310 --> 01:10:11,360
I need a soup pot and two bottles of Bourgandy, please! Vits, vits!

1105
01:10:11,360 --> 01:10:13,620
As fast as we can, people!

1106
01:10:13,620 --> 01:10:16,210
You want a chicken too?!

1107
01:10:16,210 --> 01:10:20,170
That's a hell of a time to make cocque au vin, two minutes before our wedding!

1108
01:10:20,880 --> 01:10:24,000
Alright... - What the fuck are you doing?!

1109
01:10:26,310 --> 01:10:29,150
Just because I didn't carry her doesn't mean I'm not her mother too.

1110
01:10:29,150 --> 01:10:32,710
See the choo-choo go around the tracks, sonny boy? See it?

1111
01:10:33,330 --> 01:10:35,060
Sure is fun.

1112
01:10:35,450 --> 01:10:38,770
But after a while it gets monotonous and predictable,

1113
01:10:38,770 --> 01:10:43,180
and that's when we throw off the shackles of convention and relinquish control,

1114
01:10:43,180 --> 01:10:48,520
and cause senseless, tragic, disaster!

1115
01:10:48,520 --> 01:10:51,760
Oh my... did you see that?

1116
01:10:51,760 --> 01:10:53,650
Brian, what are you doing?

1117
01:10:53,650 --> 01:10:57,580
I'm just teaching my son how to have fun. Well I wish you'd listen to what I'm saying.

1118
01:10:57,580 --> 01:11:01,030
Just because I didn't carry her doesn't mean I'm not her mother too?

1119
01:11:01,030 --> 01:11:06,310
I was there every step of the way. Impregnating her, coaching her, taking care of her...

1120
01:11:06,310 --> 01:11:09,620
I even helped with the delivery. - So who says you're not?

1121
01:11:10,600 --> 01:11:11,650
Michael.

1122
01:11:12,480 --> 01:11:16,330
He's petitioning for joint custody. And 50 percent physical custody.

1123
01:11:16,740 --> 01:11:19,300
Who the hell does he think he is, the father?

1124
01:11:19,750 --> 01:11:22,750
The agreement was that he would always be a part of the baby's life,

1125
01:11:22,750 --> 01:11:25,270
but Mel and I would raise her. - Together.

1126
01:11:25,270 --> 01:11:28,930
Doesn't make any difference, we're still the same people. We're still Jenny Rebecca's parents.

1127
01:11:28,930 --> 01:11:31,260
Well, he seems to feel differently.

1128
01:11:32,850 --> 01:11:35,010
If only Melanie had been reasonable.

1129
01:11:35,010 --> 01:11:36,610
Melanie?

1130
01:11:36,610 --> 01:11:37,950
Our little Melanie?

1131
01:11:38,600 --> 01:11:41,430
Reasonable? - Instead of trying to force him out.

1132
01:11:42,130 --> 01:11:44,790
Now if he goes through with this, I'll be the one who's forced out.

1133
01:11:45,390 --> 01:11:47,820
The court will say I am the one with no legal rights.

1134
01:11:48,940 --> 01:11:53,740
It looks like your mommy is in quite a predicament. - Goddamn right she is.

1135
01:11:57,960 --> 01:12:00,230
I can't believe what I mess my life has become.

1136
01:12:02,920 --> 01:12:04,040
We've money.

1137
01:12:04,690 --> 01:12:07,070
What I need is for you to talk to him.

1138
01:12:07,920 --> 01:12:09,340
You're his best friend.

1139
01:12:10,240 --> 01:12:11,850
Hey Gus!

1140
01:12:12,190 --> 01:12:14,600
But it's okay, sonny boy.

1141
01:12:15,050 --> 01:12:17,590
We will get it back on track.

1142
01:12:17,590 --> 01:12:19,590
Wait, wait, wait...

1143
01:12:21,630 --> 01:12:23,190
Here, flip the switch.

1144
01:12:25,080 --> 01:12:27,060
That's should just about do it.

1145
01:12:27,060 --> 01:12:30,560
Just take that please, thank you, thank you, and we're here...

1146
01:12:30,870 --> 01:12:34,100
Perfect, here we go, and one...

1147
01:12:34,100 --> 01:12:36,800
and two... there!

1148
01:12:37,040 --> 01:12:39,400
It even matches your bouquet!

1149
01:12:39,740 --> 01:12:43,790
Thank you, thank you... let's go, let's go! - You're a genious.

1150
01:12:43,790 --> 01:12:47,870
I'm not a genious... aunt Lulu's the genious.

1151
01:12:47,870 --> 01:12:53,570
See, I'm back at Hazlehurst when I was a boy, my Momma worked and scraped to buy me good white pants for church,

1152
01:12:53,570 --> 01:12:58,870
Well, before we got there, I stole some boysenberry cobblers and, imagine the rest...

1153
01:12:58,870 --> 01:13:02,250
Momma was just about to whoop me, but aunt Lulu saved the day.

1154
01:13:02,250 --> 01:13:05,400
She picked a mass of boysenberries, made some boysenberry juice,

1155
01:13:05,400 --> 01:13:07,860
and next Sunday I had the most fabulous purple pants for the church.

1156
01:13:07,860 --> 01:13:10,960
Which I of course accessorized with a yellow sweater and a pink scarf.

1157
01:13:10,960 --> 01:13:12,650
That's a hell of a story.

1158
01:13:12,650 --> 01:13:18,340
When I got my fairy wings, I learned how to turn a diaster into something beautiful.

1159
01:13:18,340 --> 01:13:22,630
Now you two walk down that aisle, and live happily ever after.

1160
01:13:58,840 --> 01:14:04,210
Come on honey, there's no back room here, so I guess it's off to my place!

1161
01:14:04,860 --> 01:14:07,430
Last time I looked, there was a back room at Babylon.

1162
01:14:07,740 --> 01:14:11,330
Brian, hey... we were planning to stop by later.

1163
01:14:11,330 --> 01:14:14,260
Why not now? Avoid the crowds.

1164
01:14:15,710 --> 01:14:20,620
Look, it's not my fault the herd's moved on. All the hot guys come here now.

1165
01:14:21,760 --> 01:14:25,290
Look at that one... just look at him!

1166
01:14:25,290 --> 01:14:28,850
Tired old queen, desperately trying to hold on to...

1167
01:14:38,250 --> 01:14:39,560
Teddy?

1168
01:14:57,630 --> 01:14:59,880
Had to, Theodore?

1169
01:15:00,360 --> 01:15:01,990
Brian, what are you doing here?

1170
01:15:01,990 --> 01:15:04,260
Checking out the competition.

1171
01:15:04,920 --> 01:15:06,260
Me too.

1172
01:15:06,480 --> 01:15:08,660
Is that why you're in disguise?

1173
01:15:09,960 --> 01:15:11,140
My new look.

1174
01:15:11,940 --> 01:15:15,680
I was going for something newer, hipper.

1175
01:15:15,680 --> 01:15:19,600
I'm trying to bring them back to Babylon, not scare them away.

1176
01:15:22,450 --> 01:15:26,240
Well, you'd better do it fast or you're gonna lose your pants.

1177
01:15:26,240 --> 01:15:28,240
Might as well start now.

1178
01:15:57,280 --> 01:15:59,050
Like that? - Oh yeah.

1179
01:16:23,270 --> 01:16:25,870
How was your flight?

1180
01:16:38,780 --> 01:16:41,840
Okay. Let's try this again.

1181
01:16:48,680 --> 01:16:52,720
Christ! What's going on in here, you can hear her crying halfway around the block!

1182
01:16:52,720 --> 01:16:55,260
Colic. She's been up all night.

1183
01:16:55,260 --> 01:16:57,390
Oh. She got that from Michael.

1184
01:16:57,390 --> 01:17:02,260
I knew he'd turn out gay, he was a screamer from the day he arrived. Come here honeybun...

1185
01:17:04,400 --> 01:17:06,660
Honeybun is what I used to call Michael.

1186
01:17:08,650 --> 01:17:13,800
Look, you really shouldn't be here. Considering he plans to sue me for custody.

1187
01:17:14,670 --> 01:17:16,520
You still haven't learned, have you.

1188
01:17:18,070 --> 01:17:20,190
We have a child here, with a problem.

1189
01:17:20,950 --> 01:17:22,820
You got a hot water bottle?

1190
01:17:23,760 --> 01:17:25,780
In the kitchen, I think.

1191
01:17:25,780 --> 01:17:27,050
Fill it.

1192
01:17:29,640 --> 01:17:31,040
With warm water!

1193
01:17:31,980 --> 01:17:36,160
Grandma is going to make it alright, yes she is...

1194
01:17:39,370 --> 01:17:42,470
I know it hurts, I know it hurts honey.

1195
01:17:42,470 --> 01:17:44,360
Where's Mommy?

1196
01:17:55,280 --> 01:17:58,480
Debbie... I know you want to see your granddaughter,

1197
01:17:58,480 --> 01:18:02,090
and I appreciate your help, but... - But? What?

1198
01:18:02,610 --> 01:18:06,800
Until this thing's settled... - As far as I'm concerned, it already is.

1199
01:18:07,190 --> 01:18:11,360
The three of you carrying on, each of you wanting a piece of this poor child, that's shameful.

1200
01:18:12,560 --> 01:18:13,910
It's worse than that king.

1201
01:18:14,440 --> 01:18:16,360
You know the one, Solomon.

1202
01:18:19,820 --> 01:18:21,400
But the bottom line...

1203
01:18:22,910 --> 01:18:25,110
I say a baby belongs with its mother.

1204
01:18:27,000 --> 01:18:28,210
You do.

1205
01:18:29,290 --> 01:18:31,260
Maybe it's because I'm a mother.

1206
01:18:32,020 --> 01:18:33,570
A single mother.

1207
01:18:34,860 --> 01:18:40,760
And anyone who isn't and never has been, doesn't have a clue how tough that is, and that includes my son.

1208
01:18:44,400 --> 01:18:46,880
So whatever I can to do help, I'm here.

1209
01:18:47,660 --> 01:18:49,660
Thank you for being on my side.

1210
01:18:50,510 --> 01:18:51,660
Now, hear this.

1211
01:18:54,090 --> 01:18:57,030
The only one whose side I'm on is my granddaughter's.

1212
01:18:58,970 --> 01:19:00,910
Isn't that right, honeybun?

1213
01:19:05,980 --> 01:19:07,040
So tiny.

1214
01:19:07,310 --> 01:19:09,170
I hated it out there.

1215
01:19:09,170 --> 01:19:13,260
The weather never changes! All anybody talks about it the business.

1216
01:19:13,260 --> 01:19:15,400
If you don't have a go project, you're invisible.

1217
01:19:15,400 --> 01:19:18,380
Yeah yeah, as they say in the movies, cut to the chase. The guys are hot!

1218
01:19:18,380 --> 01:19:20,980
Yeah, except after a while they all start to look the same.

1219
01:19:21,400 --> 01:19:25,300
Perfect hair. Perfect teeth. Perfect body. - Sounds perfectly aweful.

1220
01:19:25,300 --> 01:19:29,100
And you can not trust anyone or believe anything anybody ever says.

1221
01:19:29,100 --> 01:19:32,120
Everybody's just looking out for themselves and their careers.

1222
01:19:32,120 --> 01:19:34,870
Yeah, sounds exactly like what you always hear about L.A...

1223
01:19:34,870 --> 01:19:39,350
a lot of shallow superficial assholes, desperately trying to be what they're not.

1224
01:19:41,130 --> 01:19:42,340
Hey Deb...

1225
01:19:42,720 --> 01:19:43,980
Can I get a soup spoon?

1226
01:19:44,260 --> 01:19:46,650
Sure can, honey, they're all by the counter. Help yourself.

1227
01:19:46,650 --> 01:19:49,270
You're lucky you got out of there in one piece, baby.

1228
01:19:49,660 --> 01:19:51,290
So much for Rage, the movie.

1229
01:19:51,290 --> 01:19:53,290
So much for Rage, the money!

1230
01:19:53,290 --> 01:19:57,300
It's okay, we'll be find. You know it's just as well that they didn't make it.

1231
01:19:57,300 --> 01:20:01,240
And you were right, by the time they'd have finished it, Rage would have wound up straight.

1232
01:20:02,440 --> 01:20:04,170
At least we still have the comic.

1233
01:20:04,670 --> 01:20:05,930
Our comic.

1234
01:20:05,930 --> 01:20:08,390
And most important, you're back with us, where you belong.

1235
01:20:08,390 --> 01:20:10,440
Yeah, what are you going to do now, really?

1236
01:20:11,040 --> 01:20:12,960
Never had much chance to think about it.

1237
01:20:12,960 --> 01:20:15,890
Don't you worry, baby. Your old job is still here waiting for you,

1238
01:20:15,890 --> 01:20:19,530
you can start busting tables any time you want.

1239
01:20:24,050 --> 01:20:28,300
So... would you like to slit your throat now, or after we have coffee?

1240
01:20:34,910 --> 01:20:37,340
Emmett! Welcome to channel 5 news.

1241
01:20:37,940 --> 01:20:41,640
Everyone is still raving about the wedding. Lila's friends want to know where she got that blouse,

1242
01:20:41,640 --> 01:20:43,320
said they never saw such a beautiful color.

1243
01:20:43,320 --> 01:20:45,690
Well, I'm just relieved everything worked out alright.

1244
01:20:45,690 --> 01:20:49,820
If there's anything I can do for you... your next wedding... - Actually, there is.

1245
01:20:50,630 --> 01:20:54,150
I watched you day after day through this entire event.

1246
01:20:54,430 --> 01:20:55,400
You did?

1247
01:20:56,230 --> 01:20:58,990
And I have a little proposition to make.

1248
01:20:59,620 --> 01:21:00,790
You do.

1249
01:21:01,780 --> 01:21:03,130
I want you, Emmett.

1250
01:21:05,280 --> 01:21:08,310
What is it with me and straight men...

1251
01:21:08,310 --> 01:21:12,700
Mr. McGruder, I'm very flattered... but you're a married man now.

1252
01:21:12,700 --> 01:21:15,740
What the hell are you... you don't think I...

1253
01:21:17,250 --> 01:21:20,290
Please, no....

1254
01:21:21,560 --> 01:21:24,210
Well you did say you wanted me. - For the news team.

1255
01:21:24,400 --> 01:21:28,120
As what? Sports commentator? Weather girl?

1256
01:21:28,120 --> 01:21:30,700
Either way I think you'd be terribly disappointed.

1257
01:21:30,700 --> 01:21:34,920
Listen, I don't have to tell you, queer is very hot right now. Everybody wants the gay perspective.

1258
01:21:34,920 --> 01:21:38,090
What do the gays think about fashion, cooking, decorating?

1259
01:21:38,090 --> 01:21:41,610
Like you said, that little fairy magic that gives us straights a little twist.

1260
01:21:41,610 --> 01:21:44,580
And you want me to... - To do a new segment.

1261
01:21:44,580 --> 01:21:47,240
Offer us the gay point of view.

1262
01:21:47,240 --> 01:21:49,890
Give us some tips, do some makeovers.

1263
01:21:49,890 --> 01:21:54,050
I.. I've never... - After that magic act you performed at our wedding, you can do anything.

1264
01:21:54,650 --> 01:21:58,020
That include being channel 5's queer guy.

1265
01:22:04,910 --> 01:22:09,570
Without the lights and the music and the hot guys, it's just a room, isn't it.

1266
01:22:09,570 --> 01:22:11,060
It's all an illusion.

1267
01:22:11,620 --> 01:22:14,320
Nothing but cheap theatrics.

1268
01:22:15,060 --> 01:22:16,620
Sorry about your baby.

1269
01:22:16,620 --> 01:22:17,380
Jenny?

1270
01:22:17,850 --> 01:22:19,990
Rage. - Oh, that.

1271
01:22:20,520 --> 01:22:22,550
Right now I got more important things to think about.

1272
01:22:24,530 --> 01:22:26,860
So why the urgent message on my cell?

1273
01:22:29,040 --> 01:22:31,670
I want you to leave Melanie and Lindsey alone.

1274
01:22:32,750 --> 01:22:38,240
They have enough shit to work out right now without you sticking your bulldog, or should I say, bulldyke laywer on them.

1275
01:22:38,710 --> 01:22:41,690
What the fuck business is it of yours if I want to hire a lawyer?

1276
01:22:42,180 --> 01:22:45,390
Who the fuck are you to... - Gus's father, that's who the fuck I am.

1277
01:22:45,390 --> 01:22:48,380
You had to lose a ball before you even knew he was alive!

1278
01:22:54,360 --> 01:22:55,880
I'm sorry, that was a...

1279
01:22:56,480 --> 01:22:58,430
uncalled for remark. It's just that...

1280
01:22:59,050 --> 01:23:02,620
because they're your son's parents too, I thought you'd understand.

1281
01:23:02,620 --> 01:23:07,550
What I understand, is that if you go through with this, Lindsey's going to be the one that's left out.

1282
01:23:07,550 --> 01:23:09,340
She's going to be the one that gets fucked over.

1283
01:23:09,340 --> 01:23:13,070
Well, she should've thought of that before she cheated on Mel and lied to me!

1284
01:23:13,070 --> 01:23:16,980
Christ, would you give it a rest already? We all know the story.

1285
01:23:17,220 --> 01:23:21,340
Why don't you stop defending her for a change and try defending me, your best friend?

1286
01:23:23,390 --> 01:23:26,220
Right now, the best thing for Jenny Rebecca is to be with Ben and me,

1287
01:23:26,220 --> 01:23:30,170
in a stable home, not being passed back and forth between two battling lesbians.

1288
01:23:31,800 --> 01:23:33,290
When did you change?

1289
01:23:35,620 --> 01:23:36,260
What?

1290
01:23:36,590 --> 01:23:40,620
When did you become this pious, sanctimonious, judgemental twit?

1291
01:23:43,140 --> 01:23:44,420
The point is not...

1292
01:23:44,420 --> 01:23:45,920
when did I change.

1293
01:23:45,920 --> 01:23:47,910
The point is, why haven't you.

1294
01:23:48,950 --> 01:23:50,380
When are you going to stop being some...

1295
01:23:50,720 --> 01:23:52,970
over the hill club boy, and grow up?

1296
01:23:52,970 --> 01:23:56,340
So now I'm the object of your disapproval too.

1297
01:23:58,230 --> 01:24:00,250
You and the nutty professor get married,

1298
01:24:00,830 --> 01:24:02,580
in fucking Canada,

1299
01:24:03,160 --> 01:24:05,190
you move to Stepford Avenue with all the...

1300
01:24:05,190 --> 01:24:07,270
other ersatz heterosexuals.

1301
01:24:07,270 --> 01:24:11,650
And suddently that gives you the right to make pronouncements on everybody else's life?

1302
01:24:13,090 --> 01:24:17,260
Upside of your perfect marriage, Mikey... it's called gay divorce.

1303
01:24:18,710 --> 01:24:22,110
Fags and dykes can fuck up their lives just like the rest of the world.

1304
01:24:24,190 --> 01:24:26,310
I'm just trying to do what's best for my daughter.

1305
01:24:26,820 --> 01:24:28,310
And protect my rights.

1306
01:24:31,850 --> 01:24:33,260
I'm sorry you can't see that.

1307
01:25:06,120 --> 01:25:07,770
Just call me...

1308
01:25:07,770 --> 01:25:08,980
the queer guy.

1309
01:25:09,580 --> 01:25:12,280
Wouldn't that be like calling the pope "the catholic guy"?

1310
01:25:13,320 --> 01:25:16,920
Don McGruder, the producer of the channel 5 news I've just did his wedding,

1311
01:25:16,920 --> 01:25:21,150
wants me to join the news team. I am returning to the cameras.

1312
01:25:21,150 --> 01:25:25,850
This time, with my clothes on. I'm going to be channel 5's queer guy.

1313
01:25:25,850 --> 01:25:29,660
Sharing tips, making quips, and generally showing Pittsburgh how to be fabulous.

1314
01:25:29,860 --> 01:25:31,660
You can start by showing me.

1315
01:25:32,710 --> 01:25:36,630
My hair, my gut, my face...

1316
01:25:36,630 --> 01:25:40,730
God, I look like a Sharpei. - There is nothing wrong with the way you look.

1317
01:25:41,050 --> 01:25:44,740
Would you stop being a friend and be honest? - I am being honest!

1318
01:25:44,740 --> 01:25:46,390
Come here. Come here!

1319
01:25:48,660 --> 01:25:51,930
Look at yourself. Your true self.

1320
01:25:52,470 --> 01:25:54,690
The self that kicked crystal.

1321
01:25:54,690 --> 01:25:59,330
That completed the Liberty Ride, that got a great job. You turned your life around, Teddy.

1322
01:25:59,330 --> 01:26:03,100
And that is something to be very, very proud of. You're practically a hero.

1323
01:26:03,470 --> 01:26:08,030
Okay so who cares if you put on a few pounds, or have a few character lines.

1324
01:26:08,510 --> 01:26:12,190
Stop looking at the shell... and see the pearl.

1325
01:26:15,140 --> 01:26:16,310
You're right, Em.

1326
01:26:17,830 --> 01:26:19,100
You're so right.

1327
01:26:21,980 --> 01:26:25,820
It did sound good, didn't it. Maybe I can use it on my segment.

1328
01:26:26,710 --> 01:26:27,380
Well,

1329
01:26:27,950 --> 01:26:32,410
this queer guy's gotta get to the gym and then get some beauty rest.

1330
01:26:32,410 --> 01:26:37,340
Camera's merciless, you know. Shows every line and immediately adds ten pounds.

1331
01:26:37,540 --> 01:26:38,770
I'll see you baby!

1332
01:26:39,290 --> 01:26:40,210
Thanks Em...

1333
01:26:40,530 --> 01:26:44,100
Hey, you're going to make a great queer guy. You already are.

1334
01:26:44,100 --> 01:26:45,490
Can't help it!

1335
01:27:06,470 --> 01:27:09,820
Hi, yes, my name is Ted Schmidt,

1336
01:27:09,820 --> 01:27:13,130
and I'd like to make an appointment to see the doctor.

1337
01:27:15,570 --> 01:27:17,090
Be right with you.

1338
01:27:23,550 --> 01:27:25,930
My attorney advised me not to talk to you.

1339
01:27:25,930 --> 01:27:30,330
Well, I'm an attorney too, and I'd say she's being overly cautious.

1340
01:27:31,200 --> 01:27:33,060
After all, we're friends.

1341
01:27:33,880 --> 01:27:35,060
Family.

1342
01:27:36,000 --> 01:27:37,060
Are we?

1343
01:27:38,340 --> 01:27:40,170
I'm sure we can work this out.

1344
01:27:40,840 --> 01:27:44,640
Save ourselves a lot of grief, and legal expenses. Which if I know anything about lawyers,

1345
01:27:44,640 --> 01:27:47,080
this is why she doesn't want us communicating.

1346
01:27:49,280 --> 01:27:52,180
Look. I admit. I overreacted.

1347
01:27:53,040 --> 01:27:57,360
I was just being protective, the way any mother would. You can understand that.

1348
01:28:02,020 --> 01:28:05,290
There's no question you're part of Jenny Rebecca's life!

1349
01:28:05,740 --> 01:28:07,710
It's just that she's still young.

1350
01:28:07,710 --> 01:28:09,710
She's still breastfeeding.

1351
01:28:10,580 --> 01:28:15,380
I was thinking that maybe later on down the road, maybe when she's four or five,

1352
01:28:15,380 --> 01:28:19,210
she could spend some time with you and Ben, I think that's perfectly reasonable.

1353
01:28:19,730 --> 01:28:20,920
Don't you?

1354
01:28:24,430 --> 01:28:26,470
How dumb do you think I am?

1355
01:28:27,470 --> 01:28:30,650
No. Don't answer that, I can imagine.

1356
01:28:31,750 --> 01:28:35,610
First you tell me I have no rights, which isn't true. I have as much rights as you.

1357
01:28:35,610 --> 01:28:39,830
Now you try to get me to agree not to take her until she's four or five?

1358
01:28:43,050 --> 01:28:44,950
I'm sorry Mel, I'm not backing off.

1359
01:28:44,950 --> 01:28:47,120
I can't believe you're doing this!

1360
01:28:47,120 --> 01:28:50,880
After we stood right here in your store and agreed that you could be the father,

1361
01:28:50,880 --> 01:28:53,570
instead of just a sperm donor. - Then why won't you let me have her?

1362
01:28:53,570 --> 01:28:56,910
Cause you don't know shit about raising a baby! Even your own mother agrees.

1363
01:28:56,910 --> 01:28:59,550
My mother? - Yes, she thinks you're behaving like an asshole.

1364
01:28:59,940 --> 01:29:01,030
Oh really?

1365
01:29:01,510 --> 01:29:05,520
You know what? I don't give a flying fuck what my mother thinks.

1366
01:29:05,520 --> 01:29:09,010
Jenny Rebecca is my daughter too, and I'm going to have joint custody.

1367
01:29:10,580 --> 01:29:12,630
Then you go ahead and try.

1368
01:29:13,180 --> 01:29:16,390
But let me tell you, you're not only up against one angry mother,

1369
01:29:16,390 --> 01:29:20,610
and lesbian. You're up against one pissed off lawyer.

1370
01:30:11,990 --> 01:30:13,040
So...

1371
01:30:14,900 --> 01:30:16,660
was it all you remembered?

1372
01:30:17,400 --> 01:30:18,390
And more.

1373
01:30:19,970 --> 01:30:21,120
What about you?

1374
01:30:24,010 --> 01:30:25,990
It was... okay.

1375
01:30:27,640 --> 01:30:28,970
Just okay.

1376
01:30:29,420 --> 01:30:30,970
It was great.

1377
01:30:31,870 --> 01:30:35,730
Say it was great. Say it was great! Say it!

1378
01:30:37,510 --> 01:30:39,520
It was great, it was great, it was great.

1379
01:30:39,520 --> 01:30:40,450
It was great.

1380
01:30:41,910 --> 01:30:45,070
It was. It was great.

1381
01:30:50,030 --> 01:30:51,580
I thought you're never coming back.

1382
01:30:53,930 --> 01:30:55,110
I figured.

1383
01:30:57,610 --> 01:30:59,010
Why would you?

1384
01:31:02,040 --> 01:31:03,160
Can't imagine.

1385
01:31:35,090 --> 01:31:36,090
What's this?

1386
01:31:43,140 --> 01:31:45,450
It's one of my storyboards from the movie.

1387
01:31:46,480 --> 01:31:47,450
It's good.

1388
01:31:48,300 --> 01:31:49,070
Thanks.

1389
01:31:56,600 --> 01:31:57,190
What?

1390
01:31:57,530 --> 01:31:58,360
Nothing.

1391
01:32:04,290 --> 01:32:06,690
I told everyone how shitty it was out there.

1392
01:32:07,320 --> 01:32:09,330
How stupid everyone was.

1393
01:32:10,800 --> 01:32:12,190
Truth is, I loved it.

1394
01:32:15,450 --> 01:32:16,700
I know...

1395
01:32:18,450 --> 01:32:21,950
It was hot. It was fun, it was exciting.

1396
01:32:24,400 --> 01:32:27,550
We were going to change the world. The world's first gay superhero.

1397
01:32:31,600 --> 01:32:32,590
Well, it's over.

1398
01:32:42,020 --> 01:32:43,690
Now you're back.

1399
01:32:50,930 --> 01:32:53,100
Must be quite a let down after all that.

1400
01:32:58,060 --> 01:33:00,770
There's still one thing Pittsburgh has that Hollywood doesn't.

1401
01:33:10,100 --> 01:33:12,990
That is, if the offer still stands.